Dreas World

To all my Friends and Family!Please forgive me for my selfish self-consuming behaviour...

2010-10-14T18:27:00.001-07:00

I have made a lot of mistakes over the years and being in such a deep depression and dealing with anxiety ,grief, PCOS, insomnia and PTSD was and is so difficult with me...I let my friendships go, I let my friendships be something easy and on facebook....and this is my reason for this blog!

I decided to write it on Facebook (this is a Blog from my Facebook, but I wanted to put it on my blog too!) because it is about how facebook makes friendships awkward and gives us excuses to not talk to people in person or at least on the phone or even write a letter!

I want to apologize to all my friends and family....for not being there, for not showing you the love and support you truly need and desire from me as a friend. I have decided to stay on facebook for many reason and do struggle with that decision but with so many loved ones living far from me it is a great way for them to see my girl and of course to reconnect and stay in touch with other people which is great. But for those who are so very dear to me, I am sorry for not calling you more often or making a better effort to come see you or be there for you when you were struggling! I truly mean this from the bottom of my heart and I plan to make an effort to call you all more often and to go for coffee more often, and to come visit you if you live driving distance! I feel that facebook has given me an excuse to take the easy road, to be weak, to be insensitive, to put myself first (which is ok sometimes, but not always)....

I am the type of person that can not bare when others are hurt by me and makes my stomach ache it makes me cry and I feel horrible even if some of you don't feel hurt does not matter I apologize! So go ahead message me on facebook comment on pictures but I am going to try harder to take time to call my friends and family and spend my precious time with you in person! We have one life and loved ones can be taken from us so easily and so fast....I want my special moments to be filled with hugs, good talks, coffee, laughter and even good cry, not on facebook sending messages that I would have rather said in person or at least on the phone!

So to all of you I have tagged or added pictures of! I LOVE YOU AND I AM SORRY FOR BEING CONSUMED WITH MYSELF! YOU ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME! I AM HERE FOR YOU DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL, AND I AM CHANGING AS I WRITE THIS I CRY AND LONG FOR MORE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOU ALL NO MATTER HOW FAR OR NEAR! All my love to you all! And even if your reading this and I did not tag you all my friends on facebook have been special to me at one time or another! But facebook has made my relationship diminish and become something I NEVER wanted them to be!

XOXOMuch Love

God Bless

Drea

P.S. I would have loved to call you all to say this, but I was emotional and would be on the phone all day and Brooky is a little busy! But from here on out I am trying to not do facebook so much! :)

Also Know I am so greatful to have you all in my life even if it is just through facebook but I do want to make a better effort and I know sometimes life gets crazy and I hate that because I am all about being there for others and spending time with those I love! Also thank you to everyone for being so patient, loving, supportive and understanding through the years and especially after losing my Dad and Brother! You all have and do mean so much to me!

Psalm 27:14
"Wait For The Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord."

Check out my new Covers too if you like! :)

Summer will be over before we all know it....

2010-08-27T02:48:00.001-07:00

...and we may have wished it away too fast...yea it has been humid and yucky more than usual this year here...and for me I go back to work in September since I work at Schools...and I do love fall, but I feel like I have not really been taking in my holidays and enjoying them and I have heard a few people wishing summer away, which I get but I want me life to slow down a little please! :) Time is precious with our loved ones and the special times we have together! So many wonderful things have been going on over this summer, weddings, birthdays,and new music for me! Things have just gone way too fast lately...my Baby Girl is Potty Training! EEKKK! She is doing great too and she is so proud! Almost two weeks she has been going on the potty! She claps and cheers and says YEA MOMMY I'm Peeing on the Potty lol so darn cute! I have been enjoying just hanging out at home with Brooklyn, going on playdates (mostly my sis and her kids) and going to the Library every week it is our fave thing to do! We love Books and Movies especially when you don't have to pay for them! :)

Also I wanted to say my precious little Niece Sienna Sadie-May turned 3 on Aug 6th... Wow! Next will by my Brooklyn turning 3...eeekkk! I love you Sienna you are so special to me! I just love your unique little personality how you love everyone and your such a funny girl! I love your constant smile, and how you come up to me and ask me for bleu! lol (that is juice) ....you make my heart melt little one! You are an ANGEL! Beautiful inside and out! I am so blessed to have you in my life! So Happy 3rd Birthday! Sorry my Birthday Blog is a little late!

I know I may have said it before but I will say it again! Congrats to my Brother and Kristen Married June 12th so happy to see my Brother happy! Love you both!

Congrats to two of my Best Girls who also were married recently! Jill & Ryan and Kat & Shawn! I am so happy for you all and love you tons!

Thank you all for always being there for me, for us!

I have been really writing a lot of new songs and hope to get them recorded all my stuff will be focused on real life issues that concern me about our world, some spirtual, some life experience songs that some will be positive some about real life issues...that are close to my heart!

I will continue to update everyone as much as I can! I am also trying to workout some collab's with some other youtubers, just brainstorming ideas and networking etc...when I have time lol!

I hope to blog more in the fall Jeff goes back to work on afternoon's so that means more time alone to blog and sing on youtube! :)

I love being home with my Brooky but I do miss working and I can't wait to get back and get us all back on our normal routine and somewhat of a schedule! Looking towards better days for me in all aspects of my life been dealing with insomnia and some other personal issues which I will blog on as time goes on and as I start to heal...

Also will be blogging on some fun stuff this year too! Brooklyn loves to bake and cook with me so I will for sure do more recipe blogs and we hope to join the new YMCA when it opens near us so that will be great for me and Brooklyn!

Did I mention that I have the Best Mom EVER! Best Husband and Daughter and the Best Family & Friends! :) Thank you everyone for being here for me and loving me through this difficult time! I love you all! I am so blessed to have you here for me and loving me and not judging me your support and encouragment and honesty mean so much to me... xo

Movies I have watched lately: (Most From the Library)
1. Canvas (Movie about schizophrenia)
2. Ultimate Gift (this one made me cry but had a great story, little girl from Little Miss Sunshine is in it)
3. Private Life Of Pippa Lee (worth a look)
4. Burning Plain (crazy story but good Charlize Theron is in it)
5. Inception (Jeff and I saw this at the Theatre it was really awesome!)
6. Back Up Plan (a rental it was ok definetly a rental)

***Verses*** (both these were sent to me from a friend during a crazy storm for me right now, thanks Janet! xo)

Psalm 37:23-24
"The steps of a [woman] are established by the LORD, when [she] delights in His way; though [she] fall, [she] shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds [her] hand."

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

God Bless and Have a Wonderful Weekend!

Much Luv
Drea Darc

Check out my newest song please! :)

There is no time limit....

2010-07-26T23:40:00.001-07:00

...on how long someone grieves!

I have gotten that so many times, and no matter what if it has been 1 day, 5 months or years...it does not matter the grief will always be there, because they are gone forever!

So today I just wanted to say the past few months the grief has been so very intense, so much that some days it feels like yesterday! (please don't comment about me getting counselling, be there done that...blogging works a lot for healing for me)....lately I have had insomnia, can't sleep, feel sick to my stomach and I can feel my heart aching like it was yesterday! (In case anyone is reading this and does not know...my Father Passed away Jan 12, 2004 and on May 28, 2004 My older Brother Took his own life). Some days I am confused about who I miss, but I know for sure today it is Dad! A few days ago it was Chad....and can get overwhelming trying to figure it out even just who I miss and what triggers the feeling...

Ok enough about me lets talk Grief today!

Grief can include so many different things, life altering experiences! Not just the death of a loved one.

Any Loss can Cause Grief:

-relationship breakup
-loss of health
-loss of job
-a miscarriage
-loss of financial stability
-Death of A Pet
-loss of cherished dream
-A loved one's serious illness
-Loss of loved one
-Loss of safety after a trauma

Even small losses can lead to grief (moving away from home, graduating college, job change, selling family home, or retiring)

Everyone Grieves Differently and it is so very important for people to remember that and not to make comments such as "It has been 5 years, you must be getting better". Grieving is so very personal and there is NO "normal" time table for it!

Myths and Facts About Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

It is funny some sites say there are five stages of grief and others just say it is a roller coaster that goes up and down...so here are the "five stages" anyway!

The five stages of grief:

*

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
*

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
*

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
*

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
*

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.

Common symptoms of grief

While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal – including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious beliefs.

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Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone.
*

Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
*

Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.
*

Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
*

Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.
*

Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia

When grief doesn’t go away

It’s normal to feel sad, numb, or angry following a loss. But as time passes, these emotions should become less intense as you accept the loss and start to move forward. If you aren’t feeling better over time, or your grief is getting worse, it may be a sign that your grief has developed into a more serious problem, such as complicated grief or major depression.
Complicated grief

The sadness of losing someone you love never goes away completely, but it shouldn’t remain center stage. If the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your life, you may be suffering from a condition known as complicated grief. Complicated grief is like being stuck in an intense state of mourning. You may have trouble accepting the death long after it has occurred or be so preoccupied with the person who died that it disrupts your daily routine and undermines your other relationships.

Symptoms of complicated grief include:

* Intense longing and yearning for the deceased
* Intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one
* Denial of the death or sense of disbelief
* Imagining that your loved one is alive

* Searching for the person in familiar places
* Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one
* Extreme anger or bitterness over the loss
* Feeling that life is empty or meaningless

The difference between grief and depression

Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression isn’t always easy, since they share many symptoms. However, there are ways to tell the difference. Remember, grief is a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant.

Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief:

* Intense, pervasive sense of guilt.
* Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying.
* Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.

* Slow speech and body movements
* Inability to function at work, home, and/or school.
* Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there

Anyway I am glad I researched some of this tonight and Blogged about it! Feeling a little better.

Also Grief aside I have been having a wonderful summer off I love working for the school and getting summers off with my daughter! We have been having so much fun, the past few weeks we have been at the Cottage a lot with My Mom and JP and almost all of JP's wonderful family! It has been exciting! Only a few more days left then they all leave :( Can't wait for the next family reunion! Times like this go way to fast and yet they are the best times of our lives, wish it was everyday!

Verse Today:

Matthew 5:4

"Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."

Thanks for reading! xo

***I wrote this blog a week ago but never posted it, so I am doing much better now, just never got the chance to finish it but still wanted to post it regardless, same with my blog from July 15th! Doing so much better!***

Posting my most recent Covers too :)

My Heart is Heavy and I am so very tired...

2010-07-15T19:23:00.001-07:00

First Congrats to Kat & Shawn on Getting Married....
...on Saturday July 10th so happy for you both! It was a beautiful day and thank you for including me in your special day. What a great wedding!

(continued from Title)......and I feel overwhelmed. I am not going to lie, I have been pushing so hard the past few months to be happy and healthy through a very busy stressful time for me. Finally the craziness is over, and even though there was a lot of excitement and great memories being made... it was draining and don't get me wrong I am happy for all those recently married, and all the events surrounding it were fun, but I for sure am burnt out! Enjoyed two days having my Niece and Nephew overnight and some cottage time on and off for the next two weeks, but I think I need a little break after that! Just one over night during the week away from Brooky! A whole day and night to myself and some time with Jeff! I need some rest and some time to organize the house, my life, my head and heart! I am drained in every way you can think of!

These past few days I have been feeling a little blah and had a lot on my heart and on my mind. Going to start all over with detox/clean eating not that I have gone off track too much but enough that I don't feel right...back before March when I last detoxed, when I felt this way, when thimgs became too much to bare and the grief crept back intensely and it felt like the world was against me I would give in and eat bad and binge! But I refuse to go back to my old ways no matter how I feel! No matter what is hurting me...I am exhausted in so many ways so please forgive me if I am taking a big break from everyone (mostly after Cottage time!) I feel like I have been on the go so hard and fast for over a year now and I just can't anymore. I hate saying no to people but I have to or it will never end...

Ok sorry for the little vent, and kind of sucks that I had to blog like that today since there are much worse things out there in life but I am human and I am sensitive and I hurt and I try to be loving, understanding and kind...but I am not perfect!

Thank El for all the Barbie stuff for my girl she is so very happy! Which is good she has been clinging to me so much it has been tiring, the new toys kept her very busy all day!

Hope I start feeling better soon, I feel horrid lately! So tired and weak!

So excited about Cottage time and mostly to see my Mom! (and JP)

Much Luv
Drea xoxo

Schools Out for Summer!!!

2010-06-21T14:19:00.001-07:00

Well for me it is! Kids still have a little over a week left! But I am done! I have been looking forward to summer much more then I usually do! Lots of reorganizing, music, life changing Projects and relaxing to do! Don't be offended if I don't do too much socializing! I really need a break...other then a Wedding, cottage time with my family, and a fun day trip with Jordi I plan to take it easy! Feel run down, time to take care of myself and my family! Plus this is the busy time of year for Jeff.

Hope to be able to make some trips to the beach...but for the most part I am at home working on "Stuff"...

My Mom headed back home late last week, but she will be back in like 4 weeks for cottage time! Miss her already! Brooky adores you Gramma Linda!

Went for a wonderful bike ride with my family today...it was awesome, stress free and totally what I needed and the reason I decided I am done work for this School year!

Ok Enjoy the week I hope to blog a little longer blogs and on some subjects I have not had time to express my view on lately!

xoxo
Drea Darc

Only A Few More Days...

2010-06-14T17:52:00.001-07:00

...till I am done work for the summer! WOO HOO! Seriously I really need this break more then ever...but I will miss the kids I work with it has been great to be at the same school for about three months now and have a good routine going...we shall see what happens when school goes back in September! I was considering getting a part time job at a group home or something but I think I need this break! We shall see!

...still lots to do for my girl Kat's upcoming and wedding which I am so excited about.

I am also working on my own songs and some other personal projects this summer! So I am happy to have the time to focus on them! I believe we only have one life so we have to follow our dreams and do what truly makes us happy, of course with some sacrifice and it is taking me longer then I hoped due to being so busy and having a toddler but as long as I get to do what I was meant to do and what is on my heart that is good for me!

Just wanted to say recently I have entered two BIG competitions for singing but I am keeping it on the DL of what they are for because I just want to see where they go if anywhere but I will keep everyone posted they are music related! Most likely could take till the end of summer to know more if it goes anywhere! But they are BIG...like you have all heard of them I am sure! I don't want to get my hopes up or anyone else so I will let you know more when the time is right!

So just this past weekend was my Brother & Kristen's wedding it was a great day ...so I have posted some pics and a video of me singing so check out the video if you have not already and to see the pics better click on them to enlarge! They looked fab! Especially miss Kristen! Beauty I must say!

Ok well I have a bit of a cold right now so no new songs are being recorded just working on the writing part and hopefully I will feel better soon...
Think I am just burnt out!

Looking forward to this weekend! Some time alone with my family, and don't forget it is Father's day!

xoxo
Much Love
Drea

Last Wedding From My G- Fam! (well my siblings that is!)

2010-06-09T17:57:00.002-07:00

Well we are a few days away from my younger Brother Josh getting Married (Saturday June 12, 2010) and I must say first and foremost I am so so excited to share on this very special day...but at the same time it is bitter sweet...it is the last wedding of myself and my siblings...and the one thing for me that makes it a little hard is yet again another amazing family event that Chad my older Bro and Dad are not here to see. I know it will be an awesome day filled with happiness and a bit of sadness...some laughter and some tears....but it is almost here, and I just want to say...Josh and Kristen we love you and we are so happy to be such an important part of your special day! Jeff is the Best Man, I am a Bridesmaid & Singing which is a an honour, hope I don't cry while singing lol :O) And our little Brooklyn is one of the flower girls! IT is going to be one of the biggest events this year and I will never forget it! I am also so excited to see relatives and friends that will be attending those near and those who have come from a far, and those who I see often and some I have not seen since Chad and Dad passed! It will be a wonderful occasion!

Tomorrow is the Rehearsal/dinner so we are looking forward to that!

Went to the Bridal shop to pick up my beautiful dress today after having it taken in A LOT! It was such an awesome feeling that they had to take so much in...I am about 35lbs lighter then when we ordered the dresses so it is a big deal for me and the fact that I am singing and seeing so many people I really wanted to feel like myself...the person everyone knows that was lost inside my own skin for so long!

Anyway thank you all for your continued love and support through my weight loss and getting my life back...still a long way to go but I can see the light now!

DID I MENTION I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED FOR MY BROTHER'S WEDDING! :o)

Oh and we had a FAB time in Niagara Falls for Kristen Bachelorette Pary...and I got to have some one on one time with my sis too! Great weekend!

Click on the images to enlarge! :O)

I also wanted to share my song that I wrote/sung and recorded check it out if you have time! xoxo

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM.......

2010-06-01T19:58:00.001-07:00

...........OVERLOAD IN MY HEART AND BRAIN!

..........NEED SOME REST.......NEED A BREAK.........NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE AND SCREAM! TOO MANY THINGS THAT I CAN NOT EVEN BLOG ABOUT, SOME THINGS JUST HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR HEAD AND HEART...YOU KNOW!?

I JUST WANT TO CRAWL IN A HOLE IN MY SORROWS AND BE ALONE....BUT OBVIOUSLY I WON'T AND CAN'T...A LITTLE SPECIAL SOMEONE RELIES ON ME! BUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

REALLY BEEN WORKING ON MY OWN MUSIC LATELY AND IT FEELS GOOD SINCE IT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN LET THINGS OUT AND I REALLY NEED TO! CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SUMMER SO I CAN HAVE MORE TIME TO DO MY MUSIC! AND LOOKING FORWARD TO SHARING IT WITH YOU ALL! COVERS SONGS ARE FUN, BUT THEY ARE NOT MY HEART OR MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS...

MISSING THE DAYS WHEN I HAD LESS WORRIES LOL :o) MISSING DAD, MISSING CHAD, MISSING OUR HOUSE, MISSING MOM (THANK GOODNESS SHE IS HOME SOON), MISSING OLD FRIENDS AND OLD MUSIC.......SO MUCH......

POSTED SOME PICS FROM WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, JUST REMINISCING!

NO ONE WORRY I AM STILL ON TRACK JUST HAVING A DAY! JUST AN UPDATE ON A POSITIVE NOTE SINCE THE MIDDLE OF MARCH I HAVE LOST ALMOST 35LBS!!! WOO HOO! I AM GOING TO KEEP ON GOING! FEELS GOOD!

THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY TODAY, SORRY A LITTLE BLAH!

Great Family Trip!

2010-05-25T18:52:00.002-07:00

We had such a good trip this past weekend, and it was much needed! I just had to share something so funny the whole drive and the whole time we were on our trip Brooklyn kept say "I want to go on a ship" (she was really saying trip lol) so funny! We tried to explain we are on a trip but yea she did not get it! She is only 2! :O)

Here is what we did on our trip!

Day one Saturday May 22 we went to the Royal Ontario Museum & The CN Tower

Day Two Sunday May 23 we went for a nice morning swim and then to the ZOO and then back for another swim

Day Three May 24 we went for another morning swim and then checked out of our hotel and went to the Ontario Science center & the Omni Imax we saw the Under The Sea movie Narrated by Jim Carrey it was great! Brooky sat through 35mins of the 45mins show then we had to leave lol but that is pretty good considering it was a little scary (scary for my two year old not me! lol) at times but cool!

We got to the hotel and the whole time we were treated amazing...first they upgraded our room for free for the two nights which was great we were able to close off Brooky's sleep area so we could stay up and watch T.V. and have some wine and chill! And they also gave us there awesome Breakfast Buffet for free both days for all of us! We were very pleased and the housekeeping staff were very generous with the bottles water and chocolates! :O) I/we never get anything free! This was a first!

We got the this thing called the citypass (thanks to my Brother in Law Conan for telling me about it) and it was $59 each (just had to get it for Me and Jeff, Brooklyn was free for EVERYTHING!)
It included the ROM, CN TOWER, The Zoo, THe Ontario Science Center and Casa Loma which we did not have time to go to Casa Loma but still it saved us about $30 each so that was great!

Ok so that was a little about our trip! It went too fast but we got some much needed rest, peace and just family time!

Just wanted to write a little remembrance part on this blog this week marks the 8 year anniversary of my sister's best friend Melanie who was tragically taken from this world to be with the Lord at the young age of 16 and my sister witness the accident...I think of Melanie often but I will will never ever forget the screams & Cries that came from my sister that night when she got home with my parents...I will never forget the way I felt...everything was spinning my sister was falling apart in front of me and I froze...I love you Mames, I wished and still wish I could have taken your pain away that day...Melanie was your very special friend...but we will see her smiling face again one day! RIP Melanie December 18 1985 - May 26 2002

The Second Anniversary is of my Brother Chad's Passing on May 28th 2004...I will never forget what I did that day, what I thought that day and what happened...I was at work and I remember thinking that morning that I had not talked to Chad in a while and I was thinking of calling him...little did I know! Then Jeff showed up a little before I was done work and he said he got a call to pick me up and take me home...on our way we drove up to a red light and looked over and there was my Gramma in her car, she put her window down and asked if I had talked to Chad, and that she had tried to call him...I had chills...I got home and waited, and waited then my siblings showed up...then a van pulled up it was my Mom and her friend had driven her home...she looked like she had seen a ghost and I knew before she said anything I knew by the look on her face that it was not good...but I waited and stayed calm...we sat down and she told us, the worst, Chad was gone...I don't remember much after that, if she told us details at that point...it is all blurry and anything I do remember is just what Jeff told me...that I freaked out crying and screaming...but it is very faint my memory, like a nightmare! I remember calling my Aunt & Uncle and my friends...then I went with my Uncle and Cousin to tell our Gramma's...that was horrible, dreadful, heart wrenching! I remember so much and yet so little...and sometimes I am not sure what parts really happen thank God for Jeff! He stood by me through everything...I would not be where I am or who I am without him by my side and with out the Lord who I have pushed away many times and yet he pulls me back and is patient with me in my craziness and he holds me close and his love is unbelievable! Thank you Lord for the strength you have give me over the past 6 years...I have had more bad days then good...but the good are starting to override the bad and I am starting to feel like me again!

Chad May 7 1978-May 28 2004 RIP

Thanks for letting me share a little bit about two very tragic deaths that really tore at my core, that brought me down to a place that was so low and I have come through and I am doing so well now!

I just wanted to thank all my Family & Friends for holding me up when I was falling for your love, kindness and patience through this storm I have been in for so very long!

Have a wonderful week everyone! Sorry this blog is half Sad but I allow myself to really feel the grief and just be mad sad whatever I feel at this point only on the anniversaries of the deaths, so that the rest of the year I can remember the good times! That is what I TRY to do!

xoxo
Drea

P.S. So funny & precious today I just had to share...I was getting Brooklyn into the car and she said "Momma, I am so proud of you." I just looked at her for a minute and she smiled and I was like why...but she did not answer me...but it melted my heart!

Luke 17:21

"...The Kingdom Of God Is Within you."

Happy 5 Year Wedding Anniversary Jeff! I love you so much...

2010-05-20T00:04:00.001-07:00

5 years ago today Jeff and I were married! I love you Jeff and I am so blessed to have you in my life for so many reason...you are such an amazing Man! The best guy I know! You are my Love and My Best Friend always and forever! (and your super Handsome...ok HOT! lol)

Not going to say Much today! Just that I love you Jeff and the first 5 years married to you have been so wonderful and I look forward to many more special times with you!

Enjoy a few wedding pics and a little clip from our ceremony! And the second video is a slideshow I made to our wedding song with me singing it (not my best cover I could not find a good instrumental I will have to redu it sometime!)

I am still very sick and I just don't feel up to blogging right now...

But I do love you Jeff and I am looking forward to this weekend away with you and Brooky!

All my Love!
Drea
P.S. I feel bad I had all these things I wanted to write but I just feel miserable! Please go away sickness or allergies whatever it is nothing is working and I mean NOTHING!

Where has the time gone?! Happy B-Day Vincent!

2010-05-12T18:25:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday Vincent! My Nephew Vincent is 5 today! So I just wanted to wish him a VERY VERY Happy 5th Birthday...seems like only yesterday he came into all our lives at a time when we were all grieving and needed some sunshine!!! That is what he did! He brightened my world and made me see a different future for myself and my family! We love you so so very much Vincent and we hope your day was very special! You were the first little one to steal my heart! :O) Now there are three of you!

Anyway Vincent we love you and we will see you soon! xoxo Auntie Andrea, Uncle Jeff and Cousin Brooklyn and Oliver the Cat too!

Excited for this weekend! I am singing at Jill & Ryan's wedding reception so I am so excited and honoured to do that for them. I have not sang live since my friend Yvonne's wedding in May 2008 So it has been a while! But I am looking forward to the reception! Again Congrats Jill & Ryan!

Jeff and I are celebrating our five year anniversary soon! We were married May 20 2005...like I said where has the time gone! We are taking Sunday to spend the whole day alone this weekend since our anniversary is on a Thursday and we work opposite shifts...and then the long weekend May 22-24 we are going on a family trip with Brooklyn for a couple days! Should be fun!

Here at my house lately we have all been sick (which I better feel better for singing at the wedding! Anyone got tips I have tried a few things but still have a cold, all though I have not lost my voice and still sound good I just am taking it easy, rest, vitamins and?! Anything else?!

Poor Jeff and Brooky are sick too! So hopefully we get better soon!

I am still doing great with Clean Eating/Detoxing...after I a get better I plan to fast again...but I don't' think it is a good idea while I am sick! Not sure if I have lost any more weight I have not checked in a few weeks, all though I have had lots of compliments which is so nice to hear and motivating!

Ok that is it for this week! I had a few great blog idea's so I wanted to write about them when my head was clearer and I had the time!

Thanks Again for reading!
xoxo
Drea Darc

NOTHING BETTER TO SAY TODAY THEN...

2010-05-07T09:07:00.002-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAD! Just wanted to start today's blog in memory of my older Brother Chad....today would have been his 32nd birthday...my last birthday Memory of Chad was only weeks before he passed away...it was also the last time I saw him, hugged him or spoke to him....I can not believe it has almost been 6 years since he passed time has gone so fast..but yet it feels like yesterday when I was told what had happened. But today I wanted to reflect on the positive things about Chad and celebrate his birthday...the memories I have of him...I am glad I got him his last cake for his birthday...THE LAST CAKE HE WOULD EVER HAD...I HAD NO CLUE!

So I wanted to share only few of my memories of Chad...I have so so many but I will just share a few!

-I loved his strong rocker voice. I want to go hear his voice, and go to one of his shows again...I close my eyes and picture I am there!

- I want him to tease me and drive me nuts! Oh how he would get me going....

- One time we were on a vacation in Florida and we were pretending to box with each other and he said "come on come on walk into it" lol well I did lol how stupid is that and he knocked me out we laughed over that for years.

- Another memory was one Fathers day and our Dad had just had a liver transplant a few months prior and we were sitting around and Chad starting playing his guitar (Angel of Mine by Monica but with a rocker twist and me singing) and we sang together and we sounded so good even though our styles are so different. I wish we had recorded together. It breaks my heart to know I never will sing with him again!

- Chad and Kristina's wedding day he asked me to sing Angel of Mine while he danced with his wife it was really beautiful and it was an honour and something special that I hold dear to my heart!

- His hugs...he had the best Teddy Bear hugs (all though I must say my Brother Josh has the same hug and it gives me chills!) When I was upset just a hug from him would warm your heart!

- Chad and I had some great talks that I will forever keep in my head and heart, he really was there for me during some hard times!

- we also had the opportunity of being in two classes together in high school and it was super cool and fun! (Drama and English Media) and he was really funny in Drama.

- Loved how some of my girl friends thought he was Hot lol you know who you are! :O)

- Last but not least his 26th birthday May 7 2004 (21 days before he took his life) I had bought him a birthday cake and he was so happy if only I had knew...if only...I would of done anything for him! But he was so happy to get a cake and I loved my brother with all my heart!

Chad may of come across as this rocker guy, but he was really a BIG TEDDY BEAR...Soft Hearted....loving...but hurting...if only Chad I would do anything for you if I had only known! I miss you Chad....

Please Share any Memories you may Have of my Brother! I would love to hear them!

Pic#1 Chad
Pic#2 Me and Chad
Pic#3 Chad with my Sister Aimee
Pic#4 Mom and Chad
Pic#5 My Brothers Chad and Josh

That is my Blog For Today! It is Chad's day in my heart and mind and I am going to keep it a Day that I remember him always!
xoxo
Drea Darc

Time Needs To Slow down or maybe it is me?

2010-05-04T19:06:00.001-07:00

I feel so so so overwhelmed and I want to scream and things need to slow down. Everyday is so darn busy and I just want to breath and take it all in...before it is gone! Where has the time gone?! Was I not just in high school yesterday (not counting that I have been working at a high school for two weeks lol) but I mean wasn't it just 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998 ....seriously I am totally reminiscing lately and just loving old school music and looking at my year book, reading my diary from way back and just reflecting.

I think it was triggered by me working at a high school for two weeks which I totally love it is my most fave age to work with! Nice to be working with some great teens but honest things have change in so many ways in some areas but then in other areas not so much! It is funny I look at some of these kids and I can totally see myself and then sometimes I am like "WHAT THE HECK, I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THAT"....Not that I was a saint but man the Youth of today are well... different?!

Anyway this is short but sweet... I have a great blog idea that I am saving for Friday evening that is what I do for fun! I blog, write and sing! That is my Fri night entertainment while Brooky sleeps and Jeff works! But I enjoy it!

Well got to go get ready for bed, working again tomorrow at the high school...totally loving it and I may be extended even longer so who knows how long I will be at this school!

***Oh and I know I have said this before but I feel FANTABULOUS...I have lost another couple pounds and I need to look back at my journal to see how much I have lost exactly since the middle of March but honest WHO CARES about the number I feel so so soooooooooooooooooooo good!***

Much Love to you all!
Drea Darc
P.S. Oh my goodness I am totally loving old school music 1995-1998 (Coolio-Gangsta's paradise, TLC-Creep, Boyz II Men-On Bended Knee, Mariah- of course but her older stuff which is and always will be my fave-Butterfly Album Mostly, Robyn 1997 Album, Montell Jordan (this is how we do it!), Monica-Don't Take it Personal, Brandy-Baby, Notorious B.I.G.-One more chance, 2 Pac-California Love, Mary J Blige&Method Man-your all I need to get by, Skee-lo-I Wish, Bone Thungs-1st Of the Month, LL Cool J-Hey Lover, R Kelly-I can't sleep Baby...oh the list could go on all night!) But I got to go my Baby Girl is so so so sick I thought she was getting better but not so much...poor thing!

Oh one other thing seriously old school music is the bomb...the new stuff out there now just does not compare oh how I missed it! I don't even want to listen to new stuff lately grrrr...and double grrrr to auto tune! lol

Dangers of High Expectations

2010-04-29T16:00:00.002-07:00

Don't read this if you can not handle the truth! I am going to say it like it is!

How many times have your expectations of others or even yourself gotten you into big trouble and disappointed yourself so bad that it really hurt? You had high expectations of someone else, when that person did not live up to your expectations you complained,got flustered, upset, angry, were discouraged, you lost trust, faith and your relationship with that person became tense and you decided that you would think twice about expecting anything from someone again. Almost everyone becomes disillusioned when we have unmet expectations.

So I am going to be honest! I have been on both sides of this I have MOST definitely had HIGH and Maybe even Unreasonable Expectations of others and generally for me I keep my mouth shut but it would eat at me and then I would be distant and cold with the person...first and for most I know we are all human and I want to say I am truly sorry to anyone I have done this to. But let me say this has also been put on me as well! The feeling that someone has High expectations of me and that I just can not please them no matter what I do...

.... have you ever been in this position? I am pretty sure most of us have, been on one side...but who is to say who is right or wrong...all I know it that sometimes I get a little stubborn and don't see the other persons side... or I use to! I am for sure changing so much lately and I really try to see the other persons side and imagine how they feel and how and what they think! All though this does not always mean I agree we all have a right to our opinion but sometimes it is good to not say anything! And that is the truth!

So sometimes High Expectations come from feeling that people "OWE US" ever thought to yourself but I did this for them...or I would do it for them"?! But ultimately we should all only do things for others because we love them and want to do it and never ever expect things back that is how we hurt ourselves and unfortunately we can hurt others if we do not express our feelings to them appropriately or sometimes not at all...I am learning when and where is the right time to express feelings. I truly hate to hurt others and I try to be careful with my words.

Some interesting points about high expectations:

-Worrying about it can lead to poor performance as you seek approval. Your coworkers, managers, friends, family (any many others), will see you as anxious, stressed, and uncertain of yourself. With this attitude you will be badly looked upon and you will live in others’ shadows as you constantly seek to be approved.

-Sometimes those who have the high expectation can become frustrated when they have raised and expectation of another person

-there is most definitely a time in place for high expectations but when?! Tell me what you think! Maybe for a job, competition, renovation, trip and of course in certain situations with loved ones (but still be careful in this area!)etc...

-when it comes to HIGH Expectations of Others...especially those we love we need to be so very careful...every ones view point is different, we all see things differently and we have a right to our views, beliefs etc...but key is respecting each other and sometimes letting go of our expectations even if we truly feel it should be met or we are right....

Ok so this may have been a touchy subject for some but I guess you did not have to read it! And of course I have a right to my opinion on the matter! :O)

I just think we all need a reminder sometimes and I know I easily get my expectations of others up too high and then I think oh my goodness who do I think I am, how dare I think someones owes me anything....because sorry to say folks no one owes anyone anything (ok maybe money once in a while lol)...but on the other side if someone does something nice for me or you we better show our appreciation because I know it is easy to forget to say thank you (and even better return the favor to them when they may need it... we can easily let others down or they let us down it is hard not to feel this way you know "let down"...get what I am saying?!

Hope you enjoyed today's Blog! I am trying to blog at least once a week...especially since I am off Facebook now.

***Focus Thought for Today***
Every lifestyle choice that you and I make will be what takes us to a life of peace, love and joy or stress, drama and hard times. Know the choices you are making and where they can potentially lead you!

By the way I have lost another 4 pounds since I last blogged I have lost over 20lbs since the middle of March and I feel FANTASTIC!

Loving life, love my family and friends and I am so excited for the weddings coming! My Brothers (the last one in our family, a little sad about that but so happy for him and his girl! it will be a great celebration!) and two of my closest girl friends! Happy to stand by you all on your special days! xoxo

Some Quotes:

Michael Jordan:

"If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome."

Mark Twain:

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

Verses Today

John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends"

Proverbs 17:9
" Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends"

Proverbs 17:17
"A friend is always loyal,
and a brother is born to help in time of need"

Romans 12:19-21

19 "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”[a]
says the Lord.

20 "Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads."

21 "Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."

Posted some recent pics for you all!
xoxo
Drea Darc :OP
P.S. Hope my randomness of the blog made sense! lol

PCOS...Leaving Facebook...and more...

2010-04-22T22:20:00.001-07:00

So I know more and more Women lately that have been diagnosed with PCOS...or many do not even know that they have it! I just thought I would give you all a little information on it. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome... Yes I do have PCOS but it does NOT HAVE ME (found out I had it February 2009)! :O)

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders affecting approximately 5%-10% of women of reproductive age (12-45 years old) and is thought to be one of the leading causes of infertility.

The main features are obesity, an ovulation (resulting in irregular menstruation), acne, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.

Signs & Symptoms of PCOS
-Abnormal Menstrual Cycle (delayed, random or none at all)
-acne
-excess hair growth
-male pattern hair loss
-obesity
-weight gain
-elevated insulin levels and insulin resistance
-oily skin
-dandruff
-infertility (JUST LET ME SAY I AM UNSURE IF I HAD PCOS BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT WITH BROOKLYN BUT SIGNS SAY I DID HAVE IT AND I AM SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOO BLESSED TO HAVE HER, AND THERE IS HOPE FOR OTHERS! HAVE FAITH! XO)
-skin discoloration
-high cholesterol levels
-elevated blood pressure
-multiple, small cysts on the ovaries

Any of the above symptoms and signs may be absent in PCOS, with the exception of irregular or no menstrual periods. All women with PCOS will have irregular or no menstrual periods. Women who have PCOS do not regularly ovulate; that is, they do not release an egg every month. This is why they do not have regular periods and typically have difficulty conceiving.

Women with PCOS are at a higher risk for a number of illnesses, including high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer of the uterus (endometrial cancer).

***For me personally my symptoms are not as bad the more weight I am able to lose, all though it is extremely difficult to lose weight for women with PCOS...but it can be done! I have lost about 20 lbs since the middle of March and I feel better everyday! THERE IS HOPE!***

Ok now to LEAVING FACEBOOK...I just can't keep up with all the RED! lol Do you know what I mean?! If your not on facebook then you won't...so I will tell you...more messages, and comments then I can keep up with! I waste precious time that I could be doing more important productive and or enjoyable things...and Facebook only makes my stomach turn...so yes I am leaving...I know you all love to see pics of my daughter but I can email those to anyone who wants that option. I feel like many on facebook have lost communication/social skills and I am included in that...messages get lost...important information that should be told in person or on the phone is told on facebook and sometimes I miss important points because I am overwhelmed by all the messages and I miss the days of a good old phone call..yep I am starting to like the phone, I missed my long talks with my friends and family! I love to hear your voices or even better see your faces in person and hugs all around! Also I don't know how good I feel about my private life being on facebook and I was creeping too much and sometimes certain things I would find out not on purpose but then be hurt by it...you know?! There was a time when there was NO FACEBOOK...pretty much up until early 2007 I could have cared a less about it and I am longing for those days back! SO I am going for them...I am pretty sure I lived just fine without it back before 2007...did you?! Ok well I don't think or feel I really had to justify why I am leaving but I am and I plan to continue blogging and singing on youtube so if you want keep checking my blog page and youtube channel for updates!

P.S. ENJOY A PIC ABOVE OF BROOKLYN FROM TODAY...SINCE I WILL NOT BE POSTING ANYMORE ON FB!

You Tube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Dreasworld4

Blog
http://dreasworld4.blogspot.com/

Thanks for understanding everyone! I just want to do what is good for me and this feels right...I feel addicted to facebook and I DO NOT like being ADDICTED TO ANYTHING! So I am making GOOD, POSITIVE changes in my life everyday! More to come yet!

I feel good, I am happy, and I have my bad days (today was one)....:O)

Verse Today:
1 Corinthians 13:2
"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith tht can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."

Still detoxing/clean eating and I feel INCREDIBLE! Can't wait to lose even more weight! I missed being the real me!

xoxo Thanks for taking the time to read
Love
Drea

Four New Covers :O)

Gossip...Why I try not to do it!

2010-04-16T19:05:00.001-07:00

From my experience...it only makes you feel horrible and in the process hurts another person...I am not innocent and I have been on both sides of Gossip the Gossiper and the person being Gossiped about I guess then you would call it the Gossipee...:O)

I am not necessarily blogging about this because someone gossiped about me LATELY or vice versa, I am blogging on this to EDUCATE others about it!

Whenever I detox for some reason as I get further in it my body and mind start to feel amazing and my heart changes (in a good way, a positive way) and I see things differently and hear things in a way that is good and bad. So there are many topics on my heart and mind but right now this is the most important to me, I have been burned by gossipers many many times hurt and I have done the same to others and I want to be done with it and I am trying hard to not engage in it. GOSSIP HURTS!

A Gossiper in my view is one who reveals secrets, one who goes about telling all to others. A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about someone and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it.

Gossip is information about others shared in two ways:

1. Intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and glorifying themselves as some kind of "reporter" with knowledge.

2. The type of information shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip.

So far be honest with yourself...have you EVER done one of the above?! Sometimes we do it without meaning to or maybe word it in a nice way...but does it really just mean the same things? Are we still gossiping? YOU BET YOU ARE!

Here are the main reasons people gossip:
• It makes you feel more powerful or popular
• To attract attention and feel centre stage for a moment
• It makes you feel like you’re part of a group (bond with others)
• To be seen as “in the know”
• Because you’re frustrated and just want to vent
. Boredom
. Jealousy

What may happen when you gossip?
1. You lose credibility
2. Someone may tell the person you gossiped about
3. You may get or give wrong information
4. Ever heard the saying "What goes around, comes around"
5. You can lose trust and even worse lose relationships with those you care for!

Two Questions to Ask yourself before your about to Gossip!
1. Why am I doing this?
2. Would I want others to know this information if it was about me?

How to stop others when they are gossiping and your on the receiving end!
1. Change the subject
2. Distraction (example: Hey want to go get a coffee?)
3. Just don't say anything, don't feed into it!
4. Tell the person straight up that your not comfortable with what and who they are talking about!

Every time you do one of the above to stop gossiping it will get so much easier! Someone may be mad that you told them to stop gossiping but they may thank you later...or not :O)

Some believe only Women gossip...you know busybodies! Not the case...men do too! If you ever repeated anything said in confidence or commented to others on someones faults then you too have been a gossiper!

I am not saying that some don't think they are speaking about one person to another person with care and concern but just stop and think is it about the persons faults? Did they tell me this in confidence? (a sign it was told in confidence is they tell you privately when no one else is around or they tell you please don't tell anyone...hmmmm that may be a sign not to talk about it!) :O)

Gossiping destroys friendships, families, business partners and even someones self esteem (especially Youth! I think we would call it Bullying)....and the damage that could be created can be devastating to all involved!

Here is a little description on Gossip I got from doing some research:

"Gossip is a broad term that is defined in several different ways. In general, gossip involves the creation and repetition of rumors regarding an individual who is not present to offer his or her perspective on the purported events under discussion. Generally, gossip has little or no basis in fact and is sometimes intended to convey a negative image of an individual. This process of spreading rumors is utilized in just about every setting from reporting on the movements of public figures to discussing situations involving family, friends, and acquaintances. "

To read more I took the above statement from:
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-gossip.htm

2 Verses Today:
Proverbs 20:19
"A gossip betrays a confidence;so avoid a man who talks too much."

Proverbs 16:28

"A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends."

So I hope you read this and take some time to think and realize maybe once you did gossip? Or not maybe your awesome at keeping secrets and NOT Judging others...if so that is great! Keep it up, wish more were like you!

That is it for today...it was on my heart and on my mind big time!

Much Love
Drea :O)

Experiencing Burnout....

2010-04-13T08:57:00.001-07:00

...overwhelmed, emotional, feel its all too much and just need a break?!

I know we all feel this way sometimes! It can be so easy to experience burnout now a days. We forget to slow down we forget to breath...Happens to me often. Then reality hits (or my toddler tells me I need to stop...) and just chill. I am burnt out a little right now I am not going to lie...but not to worry for those that often worry about me and I will not get in to details about "MY BURNOUT"...often we are pleasing others and forget about ourselves and or the ones we love. We say there is no time and then the days pass and one day it hits you and your like what where did the time go I am running out of time to get things done...etc... we all need to take a break sometimes... don't we?!

Ok that is my little vent for today and I am not going too much into it since it is kind of personal and I don't really want to share my full story and true feelings on it! I am a little emotional today and feeling overwhelmed, heart kind of aches and I just need rest...going to just lean on the Lord and my family! Thanks for the talk today Mom I just love you so much! :O)

So I thought I would share info on Burn Out! (some of this info is from my own experience an some I researched and learn when I was in school)

Are you feeling stressed constantly, disillusioned, helpless, unhappy, and completely worn out? If you answered Yes to any of these then listen up! STOP WHAT YOUR DOING READ THIS AND TAKE TIME TO CHILL! Burnout can threaten your job and relationships, and if not dealt with in beginning stages recovery can take much longer!

SIGNS YOUR ON YOUR WAY TO BECOMING BURNT OUT:
-you have a bad day everyday
-caring about things feels like a waste of energy or you don't have the energy to care...especially work and home life!
-most of your day is spent on mind numbing or dull things
-you feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is noticed or appreciated

Got any of these? If yes keep reading! PLEASE!

***Burn out can make you vulnerable and weakens you immune system so you are more likely to catch a cold and what not.....

Dealing with Burnout: The "Three R" Approach

* Recognize – Watch for the warning signs of burnout
* Reverse – Undo the damage by managing stress and seeking support
* Resilience – Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health

CAUSES OF BURNOUT:

1. Work-related causes of burnout

* Feeling like you have little or no control over your work.
* Lack of recognition or rewards for good work.
* Unclear or overly demanding job expectations.
* Doing work that’s monotonous or unchallenging.
* Working in a chaotic or high-pressure environment

2. Lifestyle causes of burnout

* Working too much, without enough time for relaxing and socializing
* Being expected to be too many things to too many people.
* Taking on too many responsibilities, without enough help from others
* Not getting enough sleep
* Lack of close, supportive relationships

3. Personality traits can contribute to burnout

* Perfectionist tendencies; nothing is ever good enough
* Pessimistic view of yourself and the world
* The need to be in control; reluctance to delegate to others
* High-achieving, Type A personality

4. Physical signs and symptoms of burnout

* Feeling tired and drained most of the time
* Lowered immunity, feeling sick a lot
* Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches
* Change in appetite or sleep habits

5. Emotional signs and symptoms of burnout

* Sense of failure and self-doubt
* Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
* Detachment, feeling alone in the world
* Loss of motivation
* Increasingly cynical and negative outlook
* Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment

6. Behavioral signs and symptoms of burnout

* Withdrawing from responsibilities
* Isolating yourself from others
* Procrastinating, taking longer to get things done
* Using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope
* Taking out your frustrations on others
* Skipping work or coming in late and leaving early

Burnout prevention tips

* Start the day with a relaxing ritual. Rather jumping out of bed as soon as you wake up, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.
* Adopt healthy eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to deal with life’s hassles and demands.
* Set boundaries. Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests on your time. If you find this difficult, remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things that you truly want to do.
* Take a daily break from technology. Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email.
* Nourish your creative side. Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work.
* Learn how to manage stress. When you’re on the road to burnout, you may feel helpless. But you have a lot more control over stress than you may think. Learning how to manage stress can help you regain your balance.

RECOVERING FROM BURNOUT:

Burnout recovery strategy #1: Slow down

When you’ve reached the end stage of burnout, adjusting your attitude or looking after your health isn’t going to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect, and heal.

Burnout recovery strategy #2: Get support

When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But your friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to your loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden.

Burnout recovery strategy #3: Reevaluate your goals and priorities

Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly.

Recovering from burnout: Acknowledge your losses

Burnout brings with it many losses, which can often go unrecognized. Unrecognized losses trap a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize these losses and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

* Loss of the idealism or dream with which you entered your career
* Loss of the role or identity that originally came with your job
* Loss of physical and emotional energy
* Loss of friends, fun, and sense of community
* Loss of esteem, self-worth, and sense of control and mastery
* Loss of joy, meaning and purpose that make work – and life – worthwhile

Over the past few days: I have been a little emotional and feeling overwhelmed and Brooklyn is still having tantrums and crying spells if I am not with her every moment so yea I am TIRED...not getting much done...guess I should get off the computer lol Since she is napping, but I felt the need to get this out there! Seemed important today...

I hope that someone out there is helped by this...it is easy to ignore! I am not embarrassed to admit I am BURNT OUT!

Detoxing: I kind of got off track not that I have been eating bad that is NOT the case at all I just have not been eating much at all I have been so busy worrying about everything and everyone else I lost track of my own health and so yea back to it! Trying to refocus!

Luke 6:37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Thanks for reading! Busy for the rest of the week/weekend...lots of fun stuff happening but tiring too and hope to get back to work too and My Mom is home! YIIPPPEEEE! Can't wait to hug you Mom! xoxo

Check out my two new covers!
Much Love Drea
:O)

Temper Tantrum City

2010-04-10T19:30:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness! My girl has had so many temper tantrums lately...I just can not win. I am exhausted just got her to bed and last night it took till 1am to settle her. Jeff has been working overtime today and I have been with her all week due to no calls for work so it has been tiring to say the least. Just a tiring week all in all. Hope this next week is better and I get some calls for work. Starting to feel discouraged...but I won't I am good and doing awesome and stronger then I have been in a long time. I am surprised the amount of patients I have had with Brooklyn I mean I usually do but I feel I am doing even better. Being healthier makes it easy to do so many things in life! But I sure do miss work!

Well Jeff is working right now and I don't have much to say my brain is tired and I need to go watch a movie and just chill...something I have not done all week. What movie should I watch? hmmm...I will look to see what my choices are...

Exciting events this week coming! My Mom will be here from Calgary for a few days for Kristen's Bridal shower (my Brother's Fiance!) so excited! Also one of my closest girl friends it is her little guys 1st birthday party too! So exciting!

Detox/Fasting/Clean Eating:
Well I pretty much have finished detoxing and fasting and over the past week I have been clean eating...but I am feeling the need to start over not that I have failed I just want to pump it up I can do better! So I am going to start again....I just love detoxing it feels super good!

***Focus Thought For The Day***
Fasting can set you free from burdens; such as financial burdens, everyday stresses, chronic illness of yourself or a loved one, dealing with difficult people or situations. It is a really good idea to pray and journal during a fast about these burdens!

Verse For Today:
Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, I urge you, brother, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Hope you are all having a great week!
Drea :OP

Suicide Prevention Video...

2010-04-08T18:03:00.001-07:00

...I am in the process of making a slideshow/video with pictures and personal stories of Depression, Suicide, Surviors, or you sharing your story of those who Committed Suicide that you loved...the impact it had and is having on your life...etc...anything you want to share.

All I need it for you to post your story as a comment on this blog...I can leave your name out of the video or leave it in...up to you!

Or if you want to help even more send me your story and picture to the email address posted below and if you really want you are welcome to send me a video or you telling your story!

I will post the video once it is done!

send info to:

dreasworld4@rogers.com

Thanks Everyone!

Just to share my story: (VERY BRIEF!) (picture posted is of my Brother!)

Almost 6 years ago my older Brother took his own life...our Father had just passed away 5 months before he took his life and we honestly thought he was grieving just like everyone else...we had no idea how bad his pain was...I will be saying more in the video about my brother!

VERY VERY LOW ENERGY TODAY

2010-04-06T18:34:00.002-07:00

I have not been this tired in a long time. I really could not do much today so I guess it was a blessing not to get a call to work (but I am longing to work more again! Hope I get some calls soon). Around 2pm today I just could not keep my head up and I went to lay down and within minutes I was falling a sleep...which usually is interrupted by my little 2 year old I might add...well today she decided to come cover me up and read to me, it was so cute. I was actually able to have a half hour nap and she was so good about it!

So we had a wonderful long weekend, relaxed at home, went to church and had an Easter Egg Hunt with Brooklyn which she loved.

Well not much to say today...which is weird I have A LOT on my Mind and In my heart...God has placed some interesting things in my mind, people on my path and issues on my heart...but I am so tired today that I just can't even think about what I want to blog about or how I want to say it! All I know is something amazing is happening inside of me, and fueling my fire, my passions, my heart....I can not describe what the Lord is doing to me...it was unexpected and I am overwhelmed.

Love my Family, MY JEFF, MY BROOKLYN, MY MOM, MY SIS, MY BRO AND THEIR FAMILIES AND MY FRIENDS!

Happiness is in me, more then I have felt in over 6 years! God is Good! Life is beautiful! I am so blessed!

Detoxing/Clean Eating: is going great...I feel like it is so easy for me now, I don't even have to think about it and ALL temptations are gone! Amazing feeling!

***Focus Thought For Today***
Are you listening to your body? Do you understand what it is trying to tell you? How is your physical body responding to what you put in it?

Verse For Today:
Matthew 9:36-37
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

Enjoy the pics I posted from our Long weekend!

Much Love
Drea

Sometimes you just never know what someone else is going through!

2010-04-03T15:50:00.001-07:00

Today I decided to go for a drive by myself (I know I said this before in a previous blog but I just love drives alone with my fave music going and my windows down that is on nice days just such a great feeling!) I went on a drive while Jeff was doing what he wanted around the house and Brooklyn was napping. I stopped and got a coffee and I just had this feeling that I needed to go to the grave site where Chad and Dad are...so I got there and at the grave behind me there was a woman cleaning up a grave we smiled and said hi...I took a few pics (which you will see posted on this blog) and I just drank my coffee and chilled. I find being there peaceful for some it is emotional for me it is a peaceful place for me, makes me feel close to them. Anyway after some time the woman and I started to chat and we ended up spending a lot of time talking and it was interesting because this Woman is now alone has no one...The grave she was cleaning was of her parents who both passed away in their early 70's which is not that old, and her husband passed away when he was 40 and she has no children. She has one Brother who is moving out West soon so this will be her last Easter with him...she started to get a little teary eyed as we talked. I hope to see this woman again...I had never seen her before in all the years and all the times I have gone (not that I go as often as I would like) but definitely made me realize how blessed I am to have the people I do in my life! I have lost a lot with losing Dad and Chad but I could never imagine being alone and having no one everyday to share every moment with. Made me sad for her.

So I am sharing this with you to make you think of the people special in your life...love them! Hug them! Spend as much time as possible with them...you just never know when they could be taken from you and sometimes in our busy lives it can be so easy to get caught up in work, school, chores...whatever it may be...but take time to slow down and spend quality time with your Family, Friends and anyone who maybe just needs a friend or someone to lean on. It can make all the difference in the world.

Today I could have just smiled at the lady and went on my way but I just had this feeling she was sad, that she needed someone to talk to and I had the time and I have to say I was glad that I spent some of my day with her...she taught me a few things as well!

So everyone slow down this long weekend and just relax with your loved ones, call a friend and let them know you care or even just say hi to someone you don't know...you never know what someone is going through and you may just make their day even if it is just a friendly hello!

Our Long Weekend!

Over the past few days I have spent lots of time with my family and friends and it has been nice to just sit back and chill with the people I care about. Went out for dinner last night with Jeff it was so nice we had a great meal, then went and sat on a patio downtown and then for a nice walk downtown...it was a beautiful night! Today we took Brooklyn to the park and for a long walk and then I made Baked Salmon and roasted Veggies. Nice day! Church and an Easter egg hunt tomorrow and then off to Jeff's Moms for Dinner and Monday we are just relaxing at home! Nice to have four days off!

Wanna know what we had at the restaurant?!

Jeff had: Pan Roasted Sablefish (Jeff loved this)

I had: Roasted Tomato and Fennel Soup and Baked Stuffed Pepper (so so good & was fine for me to eat while I am clean eating!)

Detox & Fasting update:

I ended up fasting for four days which is pretty good for me the last time I did it I only made it to two days. Still detoxing/clean eating and working hard to lose LOTS more weight! Feeling good!

***Focus Thought For the Day***

Don't eat when you're stressed. Before you pick up your fork, take a brief moment to relax a bit by taking five to ten slow, deep abdominal breaths. It's extremely important. Stress affects digestion!

Verse Today
John 3:18
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

Enjoy your long weekend and I look forward to blogging again hopefully on Tuesday!

Much Love
Drea xo

Posted some pics from our weekend too :O) Enjoy!

Video of Brooklyn playing with Daddy and Me at the Park!

One of my Fave and Best Cover songs I have sang (vocally and emotionally) on You tube yet...hope to get back to singing on Tuesday too! Got a few new songs on my mind...

Weight Loss Story...and Lost Friends...

2010-03-31T10:45:00.001-07:00

Isn't it wonderful to reconnect with friends you lost touch with....I love it! Especially someone who you share a special connection with, who you tear up just reading about what they are up to, and try to hold back the tears when you see there face. That just happened to me yesterday and I am so excited Girl to meet up with you soon (you know who you are!) xo Just wanted to say that there are those certain people that remain on your mind and in your heart no matter where they are and it is always nice to find them and hopefully not lose them ever again!

Anyway so Brooky was up all night last night and since I am fasting my energy was too low to get up and my awesome hubby spent all night rocking her and holding her and trying to get her back to sleep (usually I would do this but while fasting it is much harder to wake in the night for me...which is a good thing usually I am a light sleeper). So she is a little needy today...just put her down for a nap and I am thinking about doing another really long walk and park trip again today! Going to start really dedicating myself to working out at home too. SO lets see how it goes today! Feel so fresh and new and can't wait to lose more and more weight! I think in two weeks I have lost 10lbs approx and my body and mind are thanking me!

So today I wanted to share a little about why I am SOOOOOO determined to be healthy and lose weight and yep I am going to tell all (well almost)! So when I got pregnant I was about 5-10lbs over what I should have been but not too bad...the first three months of my pregnancy were pretty good and other then the fact that I had gained "too much weight too fast" (that is what the first Doctor I had said and done nothing about it...well once I got to the second trimester months 4, 5, 6 I was getting worried about how much weight I had gained which was frustrating being pregnant...around this time I had just switched Doctors and my new awesome Doctor immediately wanted to send me for a blood glucose test...(this finally happened around 7 months into my pregnancy...) and yep I had Gestational Diabetes oh my goodness and I had already gained 95lbs YES 95! I was so upset...but my Doctor immediately got me in to see the specialist and got me on a very strict diet and a walking program at the University...which was hard but good since I was already so far along (so once I was on the diet and walking everyday I did not gain anymore weight hmmmmm just a little too late!). It was not fun having to check my blood sugar levels 4times a day. So after I had my beautiful girl, it has most definitely been a huge challenge for me to lose weight very discouraging and that is why I am sharing my journey in weight loss the more people I have encouraging me and supporting me the better, the more I blog about it the more I want to lose! So since I had Brooklyn I have lost 55lbs, so that was over the past two years. 10 of which has been over the past two weeks. I won't say exactly how much I weight. Just an idea of the numbers... :O) So I am still looking to lose a lot more and I am not half way there yet...CLOSE! But yea so I know some people think I am trying too lose too much but I know how I feel best and I know my goal weight! So that was just a little bit of my journey so far and why it even got to where it was....oh and I kind of had a sweet tooth in during pregnancy lol No really! So I have my blood sugar levels checked once or twice a year and so far so good I am VERY happy to say I do not have Diabetes. (For those who do not know Gestational Diabetes is only when you are pregnant but can carry on after and I am so lucky to not have it!)

This was SUPER hard for me to share and embarrassing but it is what it is and I am dealing with it! BIG TIME!

Ok gotta go work out and then get ready for a BIG WALK! Can't wait to get outside for this beautiful day! Anyone want to meet at the park?! That is if you live close...Call me you know my #!

Did I mention that fasting is so incredible and I thought the detoxing/clean eating part was good....

***Focus Thought For The Day***
If you want an easy, natural way to boost your self-image, build your confidence, and increase your energy, determine to exercise at least twenty minutes a day, three to four days a week.

Verse Today:
Isaiah 58:6
"...to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens?"

Much Love
Drea xo
Enjoy the Day!

P.S. Two of the pics I posted today are from 2004 that is my goal weight and that pic gives me hope to be me again to feel like the real Andrea again one day!!!! I CAN DO IT! :O) The other pics are from today! Enjoy!

Fasting....

2010-03-30T19:03:00.001-07:00

...and I have a super bad headache. Oh well the benefits from fasting are worth it!

So I don't have anything really great to talk about today but I just had to post some pics of Brooklyn at the park today (just noticed if you click on the pics they enlarge easier to see them!) ...she was having a blast and she is miss little social butterfly and made three little friends it was so cute! She was so brave going down any slide, climbing almost anything and just ignoring me so I just sat on the bench by myself and watched her....(this was all before she and an embarrassing temper tantrum when I said it was time to go)...Oh my that was not fun...the park was fun but not the tantrums! We went for an hour and half walk and she even walked some of it on her own...but not near the busy roads that was the second tantrum I told her it was time to go back in her stroller and wow did I get it! What a day...then we had a few more tantrums and timeouts at home oh my...Brooky was in bed early tonight...not just for me but for her too. She was one cranky tired girl! (ok so maybe this is a Vent Blog). So of course I am fasting too which can make you tired and a little cranky if you have ever done one before...I usually just do it as long as I can handle to do a fast the longest I have ever gone is a week and I am doing a juice fast so not to worry it is not some crazy water only one.

But it keeps me focused on what is good and on being healthy and on God...and I for sure needed to do it!

So at night is usually when I blog or do my youtube covers and I was really in the mood to sing but my throat is so so sore so I decided to blog instead. Hope I am not getting sick...especially with Easter weekend coming we have a busy weekend full of fun and exciting times so I do not want to get sick and miss out on any of it! I am sure I will be fine.

Well I think I might actually go to bed early...yes 10pm is early for me I usually go to bed at like 1 or 2 am which is way too late...so I am trying to get on a better schedule...sucks that I am naturally a night person!

Ok well that is all I am going to post some pictures from the park today...we had a blast! Thanks for reading my VENT Blog...don't get me wrong everyone my daughter is awesome she is a great girl...just she is two years old and had a bit of bad day today! It happens! :O)

Much Love
Drea xo

P.S. Bathroom update...it is coming along fine, still some finishing touches to be done should be done soon...guess I should post a pic of the bathroom soon...next blog! Jeff has done an awesome job on it!

P.S. The one Video is done by my Brother Josh for our Brother Chad! The video clips are of Chad...but the song you hear is Josh! Check it out!

Who am I??? Who are you???

2010-03-29T19:48:00.001-07:00

I thought I knew who I was…or maybe I just could not see the truth. I always looked at my weaknesses and had a hard time strengthening what I was and am good at the …you know the positive things about me…but my self esteem is being rebuilt and I am no longer afraid to do what I want, to say what I want and to feel what I want! It is so amazing to be true to yourself and to be who you were made to be!

I mean how easy would it be for you…yes you to sit and tell me all of the positive things about yourself. To be honest I could not do it a month ago, I would have said maybe one then told you all the bad things about me…my weaknesses. Well I decided for this blog I am going to talk about my strengths (and for once not feel awkward or conceited if you will…) I feel so confident lately and in a good way, I feel like the good things about the old me are coming back and that I am growing in many other areas as well! I use to be afraid to just be myself and now I am feeling at peace with who I am and that I am who I am for a reason! A lot of this is what I have learned about myself through the group I am in that I told you all about a few blogs ago…(some of it is in my own words some is just the results from some quizzes I took but I am only putting the ones I agree with) ….

So here I go….
-I think of others always, I can feel what they are feeling as if their feelings were my own…I can sense others emotions when I am around them.
-I live in the moment….I see the future not as a “fixed destination” but as a place where I create by the choices I make right now.
-I love people and I don’t like leaving anyone out, I believe in including people and making everyone feel welcome and making them feel a part of the group.
-I am positive and I love to praise others…I love to smile and I look for the positive any situation
-I see potential in others, I love to help and see others succeed!
-I love new experiences and I love change!!!
-I have strong inter-personal skills
-I do not like conflict so I like to be the peacemaker…the relationship fixer
-I am generous and warm and I am always worried about others and their well-being
-I am optimistic, spontaneous, and love to have fun
-I try to like everyone (I really do!)
-I most definitely do not like routine or structure and enjoy going with the flow (I guess that is why I love my job I can work when I want! I am so lucky working a schedule would drive me nuts! No wonder I said no to a permanent position lol)
-I learn by doing, hands on works best for me!
-I have a huge love for life
-I bond strongly with others, a have a connection with children
-I am flexible and diverse
-Kind hearted
-straight forward and honest
-I am clever, witty, direct (people are drawn towards me)
-Artistic and creative

Ok I could go on and on and honestly a month ago I would not have felt ok putting this up…and I would have rather put up my weaknesses…but forget that now! Lol

Who are you? Can you do that...make a list of the positive things about yourself...do it just on paper and keep it somewhere and look at it often!

Just wanted to say I feel so darn good!

My Day: Got to sleep in since I did not get any calls for work…so that is good and bad…since I for sure miss working! Sang a new cover song….feels good to be home and be able to do the things I love again! (posted the new cover at the end of this blog)…Just relaxed at home and then Brooklyn and I went to get some groceries and we had fun together! Then came home and it was her first time having a bath in the new bath and while in the bath Brooklyn told me that Bathroom was under construction oh so funny to hear a two year old say that! Lol She is so cute! Had a hard time settling her tonight think I finally just got her to be quiet…knock on wood lol Been thinking and getting ideas for a video I am thinking of making to do with suicide prevention…I think I am going to start with posting on you tube and start there…I know I am going to do something in my life to help prevent suicide and I want to do it NOW! So I am coming up with ideas right now for a video on it…we shall see may take some time. Also I did enter the contest so I will keep you posted on that as well…won’t know until the end of April if I won but I really was just doing it for the experience. …so much more going on in my head but I have to leave something to write for another day….

Today is my 11th day detoxing and I am still going strong and even more motivated than I was a few days ago I just keep feeling better and better no turning back!!!!

***Focus Thought For the Day***

1. Don’t overeat. Only eat until you are satisfied and no more. Overeating place an enormous added burden on your liver and detoxification pathways.

2. Gluttony, or undisciplined eating, is a spiritual and emotional problem first and foremost; it a dietary problem second.

3.You are what you eat-especially when it comes to your physical body. And what you eat will make all the difference in maintaining, strengthening, and detoxifying your liver.

4.Wisdom is a pathway that God has given us to walk upon. When we choose to walk in wisdom, the benefits to our lives and health are limitless.

Verse Today:
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
“Or do you not know your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Have a Blessed Day!
Drea XO

So Very Happy For My Good Friend Jill!!!

2010-03-27T20:30:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to start this Blog by officially congratulating my girl Jill and her new HUSBAND Ryan. They are now legally married...and they will be having the official ceremony in April in the Dominican but since I am unable to attend for me it was a big deal for me to be there today and be a part of this little ceremony! Anyway congrats Jill & Ryan love you tons and can't wait for your reception in May which you have asked me to sing at and I am so honoured and excited! You two deserve this all the happiness in the world! xoxo to you both!

I just love driving in general...especially by myself with my thoughts, music (and me singing) and just the drive. It felt so good to have a little freedom, a little break to be alone, even if it was for just a drive to Cambridge...Jeff had a concert tonight so he was unable to go but it was good for me to have a little alone time! You know?! Well I pretty much had not had any time to myself like that for a long time, an hour of no one calling me, texting me, crying for me, emailing/facebooking me. It was awesome. Can't wait to have it again and maybe it will be for a longer drive. It was very enjoyable!

Jeff is still out he was thinking of meeting up with some friends after the concert but he really needed a break he has been working so hard on the bathroom so this was a well deserved break!! A much needed one!

Well I don't have much to say today...think maybe I will go to bed...MAYBE! lol

Detoxing is going great and I hope to update you all and blog frequently but we shall see how busy I am with work this week!

Hope you are all having an awesome weekend!

Much Love
Drea xo

P.S. Don't forget to check out my contest video on youtube (I will post it below and a new cover from last night)...if you have a youtube account you can rate and comment on it too! :O)

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME(no I am not clicking my heels while typing this) :OP

2010-03-26T08:18:00.001-07:00

...Very happy to say our bathroom is pretty much done...enough that we can go home! So that is awesome...we should be home this afternoon. Busy weekend a head lots of cleaning, unpacking and then packing for Brooky to have an overnight at her Aunt and Uncles for the first time...hope she does ok since we have been away from home for almost two weeks. Feel bad that she will be home for one night and then off again...but at least I know she will be taken care of and will be loved. Excited about the weekend I will fill you all in after the weekend...lots of fun and exciting times a head, this is only the start of the good times in the next 6 months! Anyone want to come clean my house for me this afternoon or tonight lol kidding...kind of I really HATE cleaning. I know for a fact that some of my weirdo friends and family enjoy cleaning (jk about the weirdo comment)! lol I like a clean house just don't enjoy the process of cleaning I think I need to hire a maid one day lol

Ok so just a little bit of randomness as usual...but do you ever have a hard time saying No...or even Yes? Well I am reading this Big book it is the Oprah Magazine Book but it is the hard cover one called Dream Big...anyone else have it? I have to be honest I am not the biggest Oprah Show fan in general but I have enjoyed most of this book. So back to saying YES and NO there is a section in it about "53 ways to say NO" and then another called "The year of saying YES". I know I have a really hard time saying no to people and it is hard because you don't want to dissapoint or upset someone but I most definelty am getting better at it...I find if you are honest and just say it nicely from the beginning then your less likely to hurt someones feelings. Maybe I just care too much but if I continue to say yes to everything, every event and every person I know I will experience burn out quickly again. So this year is not only the year of Yes but the year of No too. I realize now if I am open and honest from the get go and someone is still bent out of shape over it then it is not a problem within myself but yet a problem the other person needs to deal with within them. This is not to say I am going to say No and or without reason to everything, I am just cutting back, and to be honest we all need to do that once in a while. This is just to get you all thinking about yourselves and how overbooked we all get at times just to please others. I am also learning that when you do say yes and for some reason something is just not going right and your stressed depending on the situation that it is ok to back out if necessary. (especially when you have children :O) sometimes timing is bad for them). So try it say No to something that you really do not have to go to (unless it is for me lol jk)

Ok now on to SAY YES! Say yes to yourself once in a while! Yes you can do this or that! I find it so easy to put myself down and say Nope you can't do that your not capable of doing that and you don't have time. I VERY often put myself on the back burner and then that is when regret creeps in. Should of...would of...could of...(yep I know it is have not of...but it just sounds cooler lol) Ok so the next time there is something your interested in doing, or even something you want to say do it, say it! You never know unless you try!

Ok done for today and I hope to Blog Sunday evening but I am away tomorrow and visiting fam Sun afternoon then I have my Designed for a Purpose meeting Sunday evening (I will fill you in on what I am up to with this later, it is a wonderful, exciting new journey I am on with some other wonderful woman! Can't tell too much about it as most of it is confidential but I can tell you about my journey with it!)

Hope to post a new youtube cover tonight so I will post that on this blog later if I get to it...working on the contest song too! Wish me luck! :O)

My Day: Packing to go home while Brooky naps and wanted to blog too, so I am making time for this. Can I just say I love children's movies but if I have to watch Finding NEMO (in my head from this "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"), Snow white (hi ho hi ho off to work we go..."), The Wizard of Oz ("were off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of...ahhhh stop") and one you may not know Barbie 12 dancing princesses eeekkkk I need a new song in my head! lol I almost miss the days when Brooklyn wanted to watch ET 20 times ("I'll be Right here") a day (might I add I am pretty sure she knows all the lines in ET really cute to hear)lol Ok well leaving to go home in about an hour! Can't wait!!!!!!!!

Detox Day#8 Feeling Great...other then a bit of a cold grrrr! I can not even tell you how much I NEVER WANT TO EAT BAD AGAIN! That is it! I just feel GREAT!

***Focus Thought for The Day***
When you sit down to eat, take time to thank God and to meditate on all his goodness and provision. Release any negative emotions and then eat!

Verse Today
James 4:10
"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Have A Wonderful Friday & Weekend!
xo
Drea

Contests...

2010-03-25T07:57:00.001-07:00

So I am going to do two contests on youtube...one I am entering so I will be singing acapella on a video and yes an actual video of me singing not a picture. This is big for me since I have been so self conscious of my looks since having Brooklyn and I think it will be fun and I am sure I will get some rude/mean comments but I actually don't' care and the mean comments bother me less and less (not that I get a lot, I get more kind ones then mean) but it can for sure test your strength and how confident you are. Which my confidence is growing everyday. I am not necessarily looking to win (but it would be nice) but more importantly I am looking to continue to grow and strengthen the things I am good at and long to be better at. So this is a great challenge for me. I will keep you posted and I will post the video on here once it is complete...which I hope to finish this weekend but I do have three weeks to do it...which is good since I am not at home :O) What I could win not much just a chance to do a collab with two really good youtube singers who seem to be do pretty amazing in the youtube world...

The second contest I am creating for any singers on youtube so that I can challenge myself on the other side of things to choose the right singer to collab with and also to learn more with creating a collab with someone from anywhere in the world...this should be interesting...if you have a youtube account and you sing you will be able to enter if you like too...we shall see how this goes, I will post more info on this later!

Ok so kind of a boring blog today not much to say. I most likely won't blog everyday starting next week since I will be back to work hopefully! But I will blog often whenever I have something on my heart or mind, or something new I have to share or whatever...it has been fun blogging everyday but back to reality next week of work and a busy toddler which leaves me tired by the end of the day and no time to blog most likely...all though I find myself blogging more then facebook lately...think I may leave fb after all the weddings and concentrate on God, Jeff, Brooklyn, ME, Family, Friends and trying new and challenging things in life. (Don't get me wrong I am learning to put those things first, but something about facebook everytime I go on leaves me feeling ill and that I wasted precious time of my life...)Don't worry when and if I do leave Facebook I will give notice and contact info for those who want to stay in touch and for sure get contact info for those who I really want to stay in touch with which is a lot of peeps on my list...you have until at least July but I really only go on to post pics of my girl...and a little more then that but I really don't' like it anymore. Ok so I will keep you posted on me leaving FB as well...you still have time no worries! :OP

My Day: Feel like I am coming down with a cold or something. So not much to say today. Just going to rest. I am happy to say Brooklyn slept through the night for the first time in almost two weeks. She needed a good night sleep! Thank goodness! Bathroom reno's are coming along fine...we will be home by late Friday afternoon! Then busy weekend, lots of exciting events taking place! :O)

Movie Reviews:
1. The time Traveler's Wife: (Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams) I give it 3 out of 5 it was ok...I most definetly did not like the ending...I mean who likes a sad ending
:O( But the idea of it was fun and neat, and I do love any romantic movies generally, but unrealistic. I guess that is why it is a movie...overall it was not a total waste of money oh wait it was a free rental even better! lol

2. Everybody's Fine: (Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell) I give this movie 4 out of 5...this movie is very realistic and has a wonderful touching storyline and kept my interest and I am going to be honest I cried my eyes out at the sad parts especially the end so much that my makeup was stinging my eyes. (guess I was not wearing waterproof lol) Check it out if you can I enjoyed it!

Detox Day#7
Not feeling 100% today and my energy is down but I am doing great with eating healthy. Need to get active...other than feeling like I am getting a cold I feel so good mentally and emotionally as well...I feel much more calm, patient and my mind is getting so much clearer. What a wonderful feeling!

Day #1 GETTING ACTIVE: When Brooky wakes from her nap we are going for a walk...as long as the sun comes back out or at least the rain stays away...if not then we are going to do some Mommy Daughter exercises! :O)

***Focus Thought of The Day***
Make dinning the most pleasant time of day, slow down, relax and gather with family and friends. The atmosphere should be peaceful, joyful and pleasant. No T.V. and keep the conversation pleasant.

Verse For Today:
Isaiah 58:9-11
"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." "If you do away with the yoke or oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

Have a Blessed Day XO
Drea

What inspires you?

2010-03-24T11:13:00.001-07:00

I was reading the paper this morning and I must say I don't usually do so and with good reason. It is full of materialism, tragedy, conflict, negativity and much more then I can even bare to read. I think I will just go back to not reading the paper...and instead thinking about, reading about and engaging in what inspires me. Most importantly enjoying those things! I am not saying that I should not know about real life tragedies just that sometimes it is just too much and I need a break.

So my question for you is where do you find your inspirations...what inspires you? Please comment I would love to read yours!

What inspires me?

I find inspiration in manyy places; at church, the Bible, books I read, in nature, in people (my daughter, my husband, friends, family and random people too)...sometimes we get caught up in ourselves and in the negative things in life and we forget to slow down and enjoy the good things about life and the beautiful world we live in!

Going to church gives me hope and knowledge. My faith gives me peace in life and death...The Lord guides me through my trials and tribulations and helps me find my way when I am lost. The Church teaches me and makes me think and re-evaluate my life and what is right and wrong. It WAKES me up when I am off track and making or about to make poor choices...not to say I always listen. Knowing God is real and believe in his word gives me hope to see my lost ones once again one day. Not to mention I really do enjoy the worship music as well. The Lord Jesus inspires me in every step I take in my life...I am learning and letting him guide me more then I every have before. I also find inspiration in the bible, in the stories within it...ever read the book of Ruth...great part of the bible...for me it gives me knowledge, strengthens my faith and love for the Lord.

The books I read inspire me...I am usually reading more then one book at a time...the past two weeks the main books I have been reading have been The Five love languages of Children (great book there are many others ie. Love languages for Marriage)...Every person is built differently and if we can figure out our own love language and also our loved ones it helps us to "fill their love tanks up" check it out and you will understand what I am talking about! I enjoy the love languages books. I am reading Toxic Relief and Get healthy through detox and fasting...inspires me to be healthy it is constantly on my mind lately. Every bite I take of "living foods" (healthy nutritious foods-mainly fruits and veggies) feels so good and every bite makes me feel healthier...I feel incredible lately!

The sun and the wind...I love a sunny day with a touch of wind...I love to watch the wind in the trees....it is peaceful and there is no sadness in it. I love the way it feels to walk with bare feet in the sand along the beach...it gives me a calming feeling. I love inspirational, uplifting, and positive music, it can offer you love and encouragement in the lyrics but sometimes just listening to something like Mozart is good too it can allow your imagination to be free and take you to a quiet place where no one can hurt, discourage or inflict stress & pain on you...I love music it is an inspiration for me (at the end I am going to post some songs that inspire me and a video that may make you cry, it made me cry today...but that is what inspires me, and creates hope in my heart for myself and more importantly for others who have less you will see at the end)

Children inspire me...I love my daughters smile, and the beautiful twinkle in her eyes lights up the room...lights up my life. I love how she LOVES the stars & the moon...she sees beauty in simple things that we all take for granted...I love how much she loves purple and her bath toys...especially her blow fish and how she is overjoyed to see the water at the mall and go on the elevator that you can see out of going up to the second floor. We went to the mall this morning and we went on the Elevator many times and looked at the water often as well...at first she would shriek oooohhhhhh water...or oooohhhh elevator but then she would sit watching silently in wonder taking it all in...(little ones are sponges you know) but if I had gone to the mall by myself I have to say I would have been in and out and not taken the time to do that...she inspires me to slow down and take life and the beautiful things around me in! These are only a few things there are many more wonderful, inspiring things about my daughter and children in general.

My Mom inspires me...she is strong, beautiful and talented. She encourages me just by being herself and doing what she loves and never giving up! I love how much she loves her children and her grandchildren...how much she loves people too...her photography inspires me (I will post her link at the end). My Mom creates beautiful stories with her photographs! (the pics on this blog were taken by my Mom) I love you Mom, you are a inspirations to me!

My Sister inspires me...she is so calm (more then I am) when things get rough she is patient and loving. She has been through a lot more then most young women ever will endure, and yet she is happy and keeps going! My sister is beautiful and talented and I am so proud of her for going back to school...her hard work and determination show in her school work and her love for her family shines through in all she says and does. I love you Mames you mean the world to me!

My Brother inspires me...I can lean on him, I can talk to him, and he is real and honest. He is protective and so loving to his neice's and nephew! He says what others are afraid to say! He is talented beyond belief and his music is incredible and even when there are road blocks on his journey as a musician he stands strong and continues to keep going (when most others would give up...I will post his music myspace page at the end). Love you Josh! Your always there for me...even when I push you away!

I have amazing supportive loving encouraging friends and I love you all very much...I have so many amazing people in my life so I won't go into each person but you all inspire me in one way or another...not going to write about Jeff but obviously he inspires me I wrote a whole blog about him...see blog "My Best Friend" if you want to read about him. Anyway I want to know what inspires you...these are only a few of the things that inspire me.

My Day: Jeff and I were up all night with a very upset little girl. She was screaming and crying all night and had to sleep on Jeff's chest all night. So we are all a little tired today, but overall it has been a pretty good day. Took Brooklyn to the mall today, had to get her new ear rings since one of hers is missing. It was nice to get out. That is about it. Relaxing, reading, blogging and watching more Anne of Green Gables.

Detox Day#6

I feel better and better everyday that passes. It makes it much easier once you have gone to get groceries which I was able to do last night. Now I for sure feel it is much easier to eat healthy. I don't want this to ever end...no more cravings amazing. Now to get to exercising...or at least going for walks! That is my next goal to do everyday.

***2 Focus Thoughts for the Day***

1. Humble fasting before God is awesomely powerful and can turn an entire nation around.

2. Choosing foods is the first step toward a health-first lifestyle, but the way you prepare those foods is just as important. Stir-fry instead of deep-fry and use extra virgin olive oil.

Verse Today:
Mark 8:36
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"

Links to check out:

My Mom's Website:

http://www.kap-chersphotography.com/

My Brother's myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/usthievingbirds

My Sister's Facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=photos&id=893250404&sb=12#!/group.php?gid=163036467375

Other Websites/facebook groups:

Jill's Photography site
http://www.focusedphotography.ca/

Kat's Spa Group
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=8412339081

Ange's Partylite Site
http://www.partylite.biz/sites/angelanadalin/productcatalog?page=productdetail&sku=P95216&categoryId=7&showCrumbs=true

Jen's Cakes
http://www.facebook.com/?sk=2361831622#!/group.php?gid=52418529474

Church websites
http://www.northpark.ca/
http://www.thesanctuaryworshipcentre.com/

Inspirational Music Video's

We are the World colab with tons of youtube singers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hhX0KkQBW4

Lose your soul-Toby Mac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8RaqJLWz_I

ALTAR CALL" Mr Meredith & Lisa Lavie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv9QNwXSSs4

Michael W Smith-Healing Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31D2g7t5Bjs

Other Inspirational videos (non Music):

Girl who was killed at Columbine
http://www.rachelschallenge.org/main.php

Jamie Oliver speak out about food!
http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_oliver.html

An amazing Man...this video may make you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywdh31_nCvY

Please leave your comments/links that you want to share!

Much Love
Drea xo

I am a Dreamer...

2010-03-23T06:42:00.001-07:00

I have a wild imagination...I love to watch romantic movies not necessarily cheesy ones lol well sometimes like right now as I type this I am not embarrassed to admit that I am watching Anne of Green Gables. It is and has been one of my faves for as long as I can remember. It is romantic and even has an interesting humour to it, but it can not be denied Anne is a dreamer, a romantic and an inspiration if you will. The way she speaks is a little over dramatic...can't imagine being overly dramatic (lol that was a little shot at myself). Anyway I love anything with a dreamer in it and not just in a romantic way in all aspects of life. I am a lot like Anne I have dreams and goals and there was a time when I knew and believed in myself so much...and others did and do too. I still have dreams and I know I can achieve them if I really want to but that may mean some sacrifices, and I still am unsure of which I am willing to let go of and what is more important to me and to my family.

I dream of doing more with my music I know most of you know that...but the dream of being rich and famous is no longer there (lets be honest I would take it depending on circumstances but my family and life are more important than riches and fame). For me the dream is to write and record my own music with my thoughts and heart in it...that would be enough for me! As long as I can continue to sing and do this I am satisfied. For sure singing covers on you tube has fulfilled that void I have had for some time!

I dream of speaking (schools and youth would be my focus)about Suicide Prevention it is something close to my heart...I feel I could and should and I am meant to do something with this...and I have many ideas of how and what I would incorporate into this to make it engaging and interesting...some activities & interactions...a slide show, guest speakers who have personal stories...some music (my own & other artists all positive uplifting music)...there is much more to this dream...GOAL if you will...I see it, I believe it...I CAN DO IT!

I dream of traveling with Jeff and Brooklyn...not just to Disney, I want to show her the world (well maybe not everywhere but A LOT OF IT, especially anything historic, romantic, with adventure and art!) and I know we will one day...but some of these other dreams will and have to come first...

We all have Dreams (Goals, aspirations and ideas) but the question is how brave are we to try them! Even if it is as simple as skydiving (which I still may want to do one day) why not? I think sometimes we get comfortable where we are and with our routines and cut ourselves short! I see big things for my family and friends too...and sometimes people just need a little encouragement and support to get there! I am proud of all my friends and family who take chances and believe in themselves and get out there and do what they dream of doing! I won't name names you know who you are...I HOPE!

I believe I may only want one child...it has been up in the air on and off for a long time...Jeff too...but I feel we are moving into a different place in our life right now in many ways...(Jeff as well has a dream don't ask I won't tell you when the time is right we will share). I am not sure having more then one child is for me or for us...Brooklyn is a very bright, loving, socially well adjusted little 2 year old...I really would not be worried about her if she ends up and only child...I am 29 and I feel I need to buckle down on my health and my dreams that this is my time to do this...so I do not see having a new born while doing this...who knows. Plus I know me, some days I have a hard time dealing with one kid...lets be honest when Brooklyn is napping I am off working on what I enjoy not cleaning or sleeping...I AM A DREAMER, A BELIEVER, I HAVE A VISION...I WANT IT, I NEED IT...I want to do for others, I want to help heal others in pain...I know this was put in me for a reason and I will not let my God given talents and dreams go to waste.

SO follow your dreams big or small...can you taste it...it is yours! TAKE IT!

My Day:
Hanging out today...Brooklyn has been a little clingy today. Thank goodness for nap time, that took me a few tries to even get her down for. I take what I get. Going to get some groceries later so I can eat clean easier...that is it not doing much today...playing with barbie princesses...anyone want to join us lol

Detox Day #5
Detoxing by Clean Eating feels incredible. My cravings are gone, I can resist temptation, my energy level is improving, and I just feel healthy overall. Not to mention the 4lbs I have already lost. Yea me! My confident is rebuilding!

***Focus Thought for the Day***
1. Fasting is incredibly good for your health on so many levels, fasting is one of the few things you can do for your body that will improve physical healthy radically. It helps break food addictions, and other unhealthy eating habits. You will no longer desire to binge or overeat...you will crave fruits and veggies and they will taste wonderful! It will improve your health spiritually as well. Fasting releases us from all not that keeps us from all that God has planned for us.

2. You can wean yourself from unhealthy eating habits by consciously substituting "dead" food products that have been old favorites for "living foods". For example choose Spelt, Manna, Grain or Ezekiel breads over white bread.

3. Living Foods-fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts and seeds....man made foods are dead foods....junk food, fast food, processed foods which will all lead to degenerative disease and early death.

No Mayo-Egg Salad

Ingredients• 1/4 cup / 60 ml fat-free cottage cheese
• 1 Tbsp / 15 ml skim milk
• 1 tsp / 5 ml mustard
• 5 hard boiled eggs
• 2 Tbsp / 30 ml chopped onion
• 2 Tbsp / 30 ml chopped celery
• Dash curry powder
• 1/4 tsp / 1 ml sea salt

Steps:

1. Whip cottage cheese and milk until smooth in medium-sized mixing bowl.

2. Stir remaining ingredients with cottage cheese mixture.

3. Spread on Bread (multi-grain or spelt bread)

Clean Eating Link my girl Kat shared with me...thanks hun!

http://www.eatcleandiet.com/

What I am reading:
The Bible
The Oprah Dream BIG Book

Verse Today:
Philippians 4:6-7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

***CONGRATS JANET, TYLER AND OWEN SHAULE ON THE NEWEST ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY...CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THEO! HE IS ALREADY SO LOVED...LOVE YOU GUYS! & A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF MY BEST GIRLS KAT!! XOXO***

Have a great day!
Love
Drea xo

P.S. Can't wait to get home so I can get back to singing some covers on YouTube...looking for a new keyboard too (but gotta research what is best and for what price first, any suggestions are welcome)....so I can hopefully start writing and recording my own music. I have added a different you tube cover to all my blogs.

Lyrics to the cover song video I sang by (posted at the end of this blog)These lyrics mean a lot to me and this song!

Mariah Carey-
"Right To Dream"

I lay awake sometimes
Scared to close my eyes
And I wonder where I left myself
And lost the will to fight

And the night melts into morning
Still it's cold beneath the sun
'Cause the fire in me is languishing
And I'm too frozen to run

And every once in a while
There's a distant glimmer of hope
I find somewhere deep inside
Someone strong still resides
And I know she's gonna be fine in time

'Cause, you see
I've got a lot to dream
There's more than this for me

An angel lands with broken wings
He warms me with his eyes
And the ice that's sheathed around my heart
Unravels as he smiles

See I grew up locked in sorrow
So I learn to block the pain
But I won't give up tomorrow
'Cause I've come to life again

And every once in a while
There's a distant glimmer of hope
I find somewhere deep inside
Someone strong still resides
And I know I'm gonna be fine, that's right

'Cause, for real
I've got a right to dream
There's more than this for me

But I keep going' 'cause every once in a while
There's a distant glimmer of hope
I find somewhere deep inside
Someone strong still resides
And I know she's gonna be fine in time

'Cause, you see
I've got a right to dream
There's more than this for me

MY WAY...MY CHOICE...MY LIFE...I AM HAPPY!

2010-03-22T07:40:00.001-07:00

So today I wanted to start by saying thank you to everyone who reads my blogs and for those also who comment...please understand that I appreciate your comments and opinions but if there are any that I do not want posted or do not agree with I will not post them! One Anonymous commenter suggested I needed counselling...I thank you for your opinion but I most certainly do not need counselling...I have been there done that and I am much better now then I have been in the past 6 years...I am doing this to share my life stories, knowledge, for fun and I don't have to justify how or why I share my thoughts or how I decide to Journal! I am free to write and share how and what I want, where and when I want...and I am doing this because I am in an awesome place in my life and how I feel right now is amazing. A lot of what I am sharing is from over 6 years ago...they are stories from my past for the most part...I am not perfect and I have hurts and flaws of course.

I knew this would happen someone out there would not be supportive or at least not keep their unkind comments to themselves (and I am sure there will be more and even worse ones)...sorry to tell you that, I will write what I want when I want....and I am a nice person so don't take this wrong but if you don't like what I write then no one said you had to read it. I am only looking to acknowledge comments that are positive and uplifting...and telling me I need counselling is not your right and I know me and counselling is the last thing I need, so whoever you are you must not know me, if you did you would know I am doing great. Thanks for the advice and the thought. Wish you would have said who you were so I could have talked to you about it (that is if you are someone I know, which makes me think you don't know me cause if you did you would not have written the comment you wrote).

Sorry to start my blog this way....time to move on from that. :O) From here on out I will just delete those comments and not comment back on them, which is what I would normally do, but I was a little put off by it...

Ok so a commenter asked if my name was Andrea or Drea...My name is Andrea...Drea is the name I was using for my youtube channel sorry for any confusion I AM ANDREA! All though some of my very close friends call me Andy or Ange but only they are allowed lol Drea is more for my music but I do prefer Andrea...silly I know.

MY DAY: Lounging with my fave girl today. So I am not going to blog too much today. I normally would blog in the evening but I was kind of in the mood now lol Going to bake some Banana bread Brooklyn loves to help me bake, and we are watching Mary Poppins right now...

Banana Bread Recipe:

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt (optional)
2 eggs
4 mashed banana's
1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cooking oil
nonstick spray coating

Steps

1. Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt ...set aside

2. In another bowl mash banana's

3. Add eggs, sugar, apple sauce and oil to banana's and stir then mix two bowls together.

4. spray loaf pan, and set oven to 350...spread batter in pan

5. Cook for 45-60mins but check often once you hit 45mins

6. Cool for 10mins at least

Enjoy!

Detox Day#4: Feeling Great, eating so healthy...hope to get outside today as long as it does not rain...need to walk!

***Focus Thought For the Day***
Let what you take into your today provide healing. "Let your medicine be your food, and let your food be your medicine."

Verse for the Day:

Isaiah 58:8
"Your healing shall spring forth speedily."

Ok so I don't have much to write...just want to hang with Brooky today. Thanks for reading...I truly hope the person that wrote that comment is not someone I am close to...if it is maybe you should talk to me. hmmmmm...that would make more sense instead of writing such a judgemental and untrue comment.

LOVE MY LIFE...LOVE THE LORD....LOVE MY HUSBAND...LOVE MY DAUGHTER....LOVE MY FAMILY...LOVE MY FRIENDS...xoxo

P.S. The pic on this Blog I just adore...something about Brooklyn's expression reminds me of my Dad...not sure why or what it is...but it just makes me smile! It was taken in November...
Drea :O)

Brooky and I are...Homesick, Cranky, and Exhausted...

2010-03-21T18:28:00.001-07:00

...so today was not a great day. Brooklyn has not been herself and with good reason I am pretty sure her last two teeth are working their way through her poor gums, and she is very homesick and misses her room, bed, toys, house, cat and Daddy. I have to say I feel the same way.

Oh home...there something about being at home. It is comfortable, you can be yourself, and there is a peace there. Not to say we are not comfortable where we are...but it is not our home and we are most definitely missing our home, our Jeff! Can't wait for the bathroom renovation to be OVER!!

So today we had a birthday to go to...and we unfortunately did not stay long. Brooklyn wanted to leave, she wanted to go home. She was fussy and clingy and not herself and I was stressed beyond what I normally am lol (these are the days I remember why I...why we may only want one child). I am and was exhausted...and we need our regular, normal routines back! I am kind of even missing work...no really I am and you all know I love my job but hate working in general :O)

So anyway this is not a long Blog just kind of a vent blog/run down of our day. Hope to just relax tomorrow with Brooklyn and have somewhat of a "Normal Day" with her. Hope it is nice so we can go for a walk!

So I made some very yummy pancakes this morning which seem to be a hit...I am really a good cook if I want to be and when I take the time to be (yep JP I have been in the Kitchen a lot lately lol inside joke ha) So here is the recipe:

Pear Pancakes

Ingredients
3 large eggs
1 cup Whole Wheat Flour
1 tsp Baking Powder
3/4 cup of Milk
Splash of Pure Almond Extract
Pinch of Cinnamon
2 mashed canned pear halves and a splash of the juice (unsweetened)
honey to drizzle
vanilla yogurt to dip or spread
canned pears for the top
1 tablespoon of sugar
pinch of salt (optional)

Steps

1. Separate Eggs, put whites in one bowl and yolks into another

2. Add flour, baking powder, milk, Cinnamon, sugar, almond extract to the yolks and mix smooth

3. mash pears and add to the egg yolk, flour etc...bowl and stir in

4. Whisk the egg whites with the salt until they form a stiff peak.

5. Fold Egg whites into batter...it is now ready to use.

After Pancakes are cooked:

Steps

1. Drizzle Honey on Pancakes

2. Put 1 or 2 canned pear halves on top

3. Put yogurt on the side to dip or on top of pears

4. Drizzle a little more honey if you like on yogurt/pears

YUM!

Detox Day#3 Today was a great day for me food wise! I ate so healthy and did not feel tempted at all today...even with unhealthy choices in front of me numerous times I had no desire to give in! FEELING GREAT! Imagine how I will feel on Day 20! :O)

***3 Focus Thought for the Day***
1. It is important to understand that your thinking patterns and emotional responses affect your body, and it is important to be totally well, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

2. Toxic emotions such as anger, resentment, fear, anxiety, grief and depression can create excessive stress, whereas positive emotions such as gratitude, joy, love, and peace actually relieve stress!

3. Forgiveness enables the body to release toxins. Choose to extend forgiveness today-this includes forgiving yourself!

What I am reading:
My old Journals from high school for fun lol too funny
My Journal from when Dad and Chad passed
The Bible
Get Healthy through Detox & Fasting

Verse for the Day:

Colossians 3:13
"You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."

Something Special and personal I would like to share from my Journal when Dad passed away:(exactly as I wrote it back in 04...so it may be scrabbled as you can imagine I was a mess)

Journal Entry from:
January 9th 2004
Dad talked to us all, he said "Follow your Dreams"...I am so glad I had my chance to hug and kiss him and say a few things...

Journal Entry From:
January 10th 2004
Went to ICU...Dad was put on life support. But I saw him before they did he said "where is she".

Journal Entry From:
January 11th 2004
We were told he would not make it through the night, but he kept on fighting.

Journal Entry From:
Mon, January 12th 2004
Dad's Last Day on Earth
Your pain was too much, we all knew that. But this day Will not leave my memory. I did not sleep more than a few hours. I went to the hospital by 9:20am, than I saw you again. Than we talked with Mom we all knew, then with the doctors. We made the decision as a family. That we had to let you go your pain was too much, we went in around 11:00 or so maybe 11:20 anyway once your heart rate was dropping I passed out in Josh's arms that we waited a long time, well it felt like hours and at 12:02 you left us. I was screaming and so was Aimee and I passed out again. This was the hardest day of my life. But we stayed with you until your last breath. we wanted to because we are a tight family. It has taken me 3 days to write about this day so it is really the 15th. This is hard so I will try again tomorrow as I am days behind.

Things I remembered:(this is still part of my journal entry)-Dad bought me my first dozen roses age 16
-roses @ prom
-being his princess
-I received your ring with diamond from Mom
-received coins like you wanted
-Hat I gave you I can smell you
-your gloves-well it was cold and we were on our way to the cemetery and I needed some. I opened your car door and they were there. I put them on and they gave me comfort. Mom said I could have them.
-London Knights tickets I bought you, I am taking Chad, Josh and Jeff we will have fun, you would have wanted us to.

I love you and I miss you.

Ok so that is something I wanted to share and sorry if it is choppy and scrambled :O) You may be wondering why I would share that...because I want to...because I can and blogging is so freeing for me. Funny rewriting my journal from one of the most traumatic times in my life actually felt good...and was peaceful... I did not shed a tear for once re-reading my journal...that is a big step for me! I am most definitely moving forward in life and in the grief I have and do struggle with!

Much Love to you All!

Drea xo

Being Free and able to Fly again!

2010-03-20T10:44:00.001-07:00

***THIS IS A LONG ONE...I TRULY APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME TO READ IT***
Today I decided to start off by Blogging about my fears and anxieties and learning to let go and trust in God and myself! This is huge for me, I have grown up afraid of so many things and have given up on a lot of dreams due to this. Not all my dreams but a lot...but it is never too late right? I mean we have one life so why not at least try. I am just going to share a bit about my past...not every thing and NOT every trauma OR every issue...there are some that are too personal and emotional for me to write about...maybe one day...I am all about being open and honest for myself and so others will understand why I am who I am...and all that jazz...

During my childhood every thing was great. I do not remember really ever being afraid or being worried or having anxiety...none of that came in until the first trauma in my life, in my families life. When my Brother had his eye accident...I had never experienced anything like this in my life, it was horrible and he was so young...well maybe that was not the firt trauma but the first one I really remember.. one time when I was maybe 5(Mom was that the right age?) a guy we knew got hit by a car right in front of us and I will never forget that...so I guess that was the first thing that started my anxieties/worries. High school was rough for me and I will not get into details other then I struggled with an eating disorder, boy troubles (lol what high school teen girl does not have that), and a very sick Father who had a liver transplant when I was 17. I made some bad choices that led to good and bad outcomes. But I believe we learn from our mistakes and that forgiving ourselves and others heals and time for sure heals. Then when I was 22 going on 23 my Father could not fight anymore he was tired and went home to be with our heavenly Father, to be with the Lord...that was and is hard on me and I struggle everyday trying to get over losing him or not getting over it but being happier every day...then it hit me so hard May 28th 2004 5 and half months after my Father had passed my older brother Chad took his own life....I can not even describe to you the shock I felt and feel to this day. SUICIDE....I can not wrap my head around that word, around it! (although I am determind to do something to help with suicide prevention one day...not sure what, how and when...but I will)

SO that is a VERY BRIEF run down of A FEW hard times from my past....and I have reasons for not going into it more then that...due to some of these things I now have to get out of this worry pattern I have created within myself...I worry about losing someone else, my husband, my daughter and so much more. I don't take risks, and for the longest time I did not even sing. I am overcoming this you will be happy to know and I am learning day by day to follow my dreams and my heart and to let go and trust in God and myself! I am not writing this for any other reason but for myself and to help others...by sharing and giving info that may help.

It amazes me the freedom blogging is giving me. Sometimes I am too afraid to say things to people or to be true to what I am feeling and this is allowing me to say what is on my mind and what is in my heart. And to be honest I am getting better every time I write a blog (this is Day #5 by the way). It feels good to be honest with myself and others and well to be honest and to not care for once if others will think I am stupid or silly or whatever...cause guess what I actually don't care. I needed this freedom!

Ok back to letting go of fear and anxieties this is something more recently I have been trying so hard to confront and deal with. I have read books, researched and spoke to a counsellor but really it is something that I have to write about either on here, journal or through my music...whatever it is I just have to let it out. You may laugh at some of my fears and anxieties but they are real to me and unfortunately they have gotten worse since losing Chad (my brother) and my Dad and even worse since becoming a Mother which I feel is natural to some extent, but enough is enough I will not let them consume me anymore...so here I go!

I fear Bats long story short when I was pregnant we had bat issues in our apartment...I fear losing loved ones...I fear big dogs mostly if I don't know them...I don't really like flying...I fear being a failure...I fear others hating me...ok I think that is all I am willing to share for now lol Are you laughing? Stop laughing...oh I fear people laughing at me! :OP

When distorted thoughts reap in my heart and mind...my head produces strongholds that can completely hold me hostage in depression, fear, anxiety and worry. But to escape these strongholds I have to pull out these intruders and replace them with God's word, Positive thoughts, positive people and love... once the strongholds are replaced with incorruptible seeds then I will and have been experiencing joy and peace.
Distortional Thought Patterns (some of this is taken from two books I am reading on Depression, Anxiety and Worry...but I have changed almost all of it into my own words and thoughts and ideas)

1. Imagine If? What If? I can't...(thoughts)
The more what if thoughts I have the deeper my fears and anxieties grow...what if , I can't and imagine if thinking need to be replaced with God's Word, Positive thoughts and "I CAN" thinking. This works for me for the most part and when it doesn't I try distraction...a song, a book, a movie, sleep and writing...(journal or blogging!)

2. Catastrophizing
This is thinking awful thoughts, by enhancing poisonous thoughts and unpleasant events. Ever heard the saying don't make a mountain out of a mole-hill what that is exactly what catastrophizing is!

3. Always expecting the worst
Example: " If something bad is going to happen, it is going to happen to me."

4. Jumping to conclusions-thinking we know what others are thinking saying and doing or going to do (or thinking we know what will happen if...) without having facts to support it.

5. Black n white thinking -You may see things as either having to be flawless or worthless. This will forsure set you up for failure, distortional thoughts, depression, worry and anxiety.

6. Labeling ourselves
Examples: Your stupid, dumb, patheic, ugly etc...) You need to take these words out of your vocab!!!

7. Rigid rules -should, could, ought to be done....example "that person should stop driving so crazy and should stop cutting me off" If you think like this then you think things should be a certain way in society, that people should do things a certain way and act a "certain way" in situations and that these situations should turn out in a expected way.

8. Pit Thinker aka Negative Filter ...pit thinker because you fall into the pit of hopelessness and overgeneralize taking one unhappy incident and thinking that it means your whole life will turn out the same way.

9. Emotional Reasoning- Negative feelings are a sign of negative thinking and depression.

10. Blaming others -Instead of blaming others we need to look at ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and forgive ourselves...and if someone is to blame it is so important to learn to forgive them. Forgiveness is a decision we make and it is much healthier then blaming and holding hate and unforgiveness in our heart.

TIPS TO STAY WORRY FREE:

1. Take care of your body! Checkups....lifting properly etc...

2. Eat Healthy - clean eating is a great is one of the best ways to eat.

3. Watch your weight...this will take care of itself if you eat healthy and exercise.

4. Exercise regularly

5. Follow up on warning signs your body gives you instead of worry

6. Keep focused on what is good

My Day Today: Today I am very tired...poor Brooklyn has been waking every night screaming and crying....we think it is her last two teeth coming in. Poor girl! Then off to a birthday party today...Brooklyn loves birthdays...but she was not herself and clung to me more then usual...until it was cake time of course lol Then we came back to Jeff's Moms for the afternoon to relax and while she watched Curious George the movie since she refused to nap, I blogged. Out tonight with Kat to celebrate her b-day (Dinner and a Movie) and have some one on one girl time which we have not had in forever! Excited! Well that is it for today...busy but fun!

Detoxing Day#2:
Today was a challenge since I have not had time to plan meals or get groceries that I need to detox/clean eat! Also since we are not at home still makes it a little harder but I can do it...and I am doing it. Just have not eaten much today...going out for dinner 2nite with Kat for her b-day so I think I will just have a garden salad with some grilled chicken on it...that will be the best option. I can do it!! I know I can because I have done it before...but it is more important now! I HAVE TO DO THIS...every bite I take, the food I buy or even think about has to be healthy!!

***Focus Thought for the Day***
Your amazing body is not only designed to detoxify itself but also to heal itself as well. And just as you can play a significant role in helping and supporting your body's own ability to detoxify itself, you can also do the same with healing.

What I am Reading:
Toxic Relief
Get Healthy Through Detox and Fasting
The Bible

Verse For the Day:
Mark 9:23
" I confess that all things are possible to those who believe."

I like to think and hope that some who read this may not just learn about me but that with me sharing my knowledge on some issues that I have dealt with and know a lot about that you too will learn and gain something from my blogs...especially one like this. There is so much more I could and would and should say...but another day...this blog is long enough...again I am random and I enjoy that about myself so if you feel lost when I am writing I apologize but I am who I am and I have to be honest I am HAPPY with who I am today! I AM FREE AND ABLE TO FLY AGAIN...AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

Have a Great Day
Much Love
God Bless You
Drea
xo

I AM SO DONE...

2010-03-19T19:24:00.002-07:00

....with being unhealthy.....not that I have not been trying to lose weight but I am going to push myself even harder....I have to do this for myself and for my family. I want to live long, I want to see my daughter grow up and I do not want my daughter to ever struggle with any weight related issues as I have....Brooklyn you are my world you are so beautiful! This is for me, myself and YOU babe! Jeff too...but there is something about a Mother Daughter relationship and I grew up with a beautiful, energetic, healthy Mother and I want that for my girl!

So today I have decided to go back to what works for me...DETOX by clean eating and then a fast for how long not sure the fasting part is always hard for me...this is my forth time doing this and every time I have lost anywhere from 20-40lbs in about four months and for the most part kept it off! So I am done with my bad eating habits and I just really can't do it anymore I am craving healthy food and I feel so good even just thinking about this! I long to be the person I was so long ago (health wise lol not so much in other ways!)

I am also writing about this detoxing I do because several people have been asking me about it...so I have decided to incorporate it into my blog and you can follow me Day by Day to see what I eat/do and so on and so forth...I will post helpful links and books too! I will also be blogging on other subjects as well.

So I guess this is DAY#1 of Detoxing....generally the detoxing is done for 21days then a juice fast for 7 days but I plan on doing the detoxing for much longer then 21days. Every time I do this I do it longer each time. It has become so easy for me to do so I don't know why I ever stopped....oh yea Christmas grrrr....

Detoxing No No's

NO FAST FOOD
NO REFINED & PROCESSED FOODS (WHITE BREAD, CHIPS, NOTHING INSTANT ETC...)
NO RED MEAT (OR LIMIT TO 1 TIME A MONTH IF POSSIBLE)
NO CHOCOLATE
NO POP
NO ALCOHOL
NO PROCESSED OILS (VEG OIL)
NO DEEP-FRIED FOODS
NO MICROWAVED FOOD
NO DAIRY (OR CUT DOWN ON IF YOU JUST CAN'T CUT IT RIGHT OUT)
LESS MEAT IN GENERAL
NO COFFEE (IF YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT THEN JUST CUT BACK AND USE ORGANIC)
NO SIMPLE SUGARS (HONEY, PASTRIES, COOKIES ETC...)
NO EGGS (OR CUT BACK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE)
NO SOY OR CORN PRODUCTS
AVOID CASHEWS AND PEANUTS

Ok So now your thinking what the heck is there left to even eat...you will see! Remember this is my fourth time doing this...it gets easier and I suggest buying the books that I write at the end...or something about clean eating they are all pretty similar!

WELL WHAT CAN I EAT:

FRUITS & VEGGIES LOTS LOTS LOTS
DRINK WATER
DECAF COFFEE
HERBAL TEAS ESPECIALLY GREEN TEA IS GREAT FOR YOU
EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
BROWN RICE & WILD RICE
SPELT BREAD & SWISS GRAIN BREAD (FROM ANGELOS IS BEST) OR ANY KIND OF SPROUTED BREAD
AVOCADO'S
RAW FRESH UNSALTED NUTS (ALMONDS, MACADAM IAN, WALNUTS)
Rolled Oats/Steel Cut Oats

**Here is the Focus Thought for today's Journal from my detoxing book**
Without a healthy, well-functioning liver and a healthy intestinal tract, your body will continue to labor under a dangerous burden of toxin's

Remember this is not for everyone but it does work for me...so please feel free to try it...but it does require a lot of preparation, focus and time! Good luck if you decide to give it a try! All I know is every time I do this I feel so amazing!

My Day:

Today Brooklyn and I got to spend breakfast with Jeff which was nice and he got to sleep a little extra which he really needed...then we played, watched every princess movie we have...then while Brooklyn was napping (thank you Nana for watching her for me for a bit again today) I was able to go visit a friend who just had her second beautiful daughter...then off to try on my dress for my brother's wedding which looks great already on me can't wait to see it in June once I have lost more weight! Also re-connected with a friend which is always nice....anyway guess I should go to bed soon. Will update everyone daily on my detoxing progress. As most of you know when I get something in my head I get it done! lol So here we go!

What I am reading: My detoxing Books (Toxic Relief & Get Healthy Through Detox and Fasting booth books by Don Colbert, MD )and The Bible all of 1 Samuel

Verse for today: 1 Samuel 16:7 "...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

xo

Drea

P.S. Don't forget to check my youtube channels for new covers...hope to get a new one up in the next week or two...requests are welcome :O)
www.youtube.com/dreasworld4

My Best Friend...

2010-03-18T19:40:00.001-07:00

....My wonderful, amazing, intelligent, multi-talented, hardworking, loving, dedicated and thoughtful husband...he is so many more things to me then this, but I don't want to go on all night. But I just decided for my third day of Blogging I needed to blog about the best guy I know!

First lets start with what he is up to right now...since Saturday March 13th he has been renovating our bathroom all on his own....and working a full time job. Some have offered to help and he is grateful for the offers but yet he wants to do this job on his own...at first I thought he was being stubborn...but not Jeff he needed this time to himself and he is so handy. He needed something that he had done that he could show off and be proud of! I get it! I am amazed at what he has accomplished so far just with this bathroom alone. He has come across a few setbacks and handled them no problem. Jeff has been working a full time job this week and then going straight to the house to work on the bathroom then only back to his Mom's for some sleep before heading back to work the next day and then the same routine everyday this week.

So this whole week I had been keeping Brooky up to see him because they missed each other so much and he would get to his Mom's and a running excited Brooklyn would run with a huge smile on her face to greet him (did I mention this girl was staying up some night till 10:30pm just to hang out with him and giving everything in her to stay awake what a sweetheart)...then the two of them would go outside to look at the stars and the moon...so precious! Not to mention if I even came near them she would say "I don't want Mommy I want Daddy" lol I mean we have been together 24/7 so I did not take it to heart :O) Then after they had something to eat together he would take her upstairs and do bedtime routines...did I mention he was doing this after working all day at his job then bathroom work...what an amazing Man/Father!!!

Today Brooky and I went to see Jeff at work on his lunch and she was so excited to see him! Both their faces lit up when they saw each other...is there anything better seriously that made my day to see how happy they both were!

Jeff sacrifices for us from about May-Oct every year too (on top of a ton of other sacrifices)....sometimes longer. He has a full time job and during those months he has a part time job too...one so that I don't have to work more then a few shifts a week so I can be home with Brooklyn for the most part and I get summers off!! So during this time he works a full time job and then two full days approx on this other job and is lucky if he gets a day off with us or just anytime to himself. He does that for us for me...I don't think many women can say all that I have said about my husband! And if you can, know that you are blessed too and don't forget in the stress of it all to thank them and hug them!

There are days when I am tired, annoyed and lonely with being alone with Brooklyn sometimes everyday all day...but when I look at the big picture I just thank the Lord that he has blessed me with this great man! That by the way totally reminds me of my Father...so much!

These are only a few examples of the sacrifices Jeff makes for Brooklyn and I! We are truly blessed to have you Jeff! You are so loved by us! We thank you so much for all you do to take care of us! (I know sometimes I am not in the best mood and not so understanding so I am sorry for that and I love you so much) xoxo

Ok have a Blessed Day Everyone...and when your feeling frustrated or like things are just not good...look at your precious loved ones...and if your reading this and you know me I love you too! lol No really I do.

P.S. Had a Dream about my Brother Chad last night...felt so real! Miss him terribly and I have not had a dream of him in a very long time...he looked good...Love him!

Movie to watch: Precious I give this movie 4 1/2 stars out of 5....wow great movie...MC did a great job but the main Girl was AMAZING! This movie just really pulled at my heart strings and some parts had me so mad at the way she was treated I was yelling at the T.V. lol Anyway watch it if you have not! So glad I never had to endure any of what this girl or anyone portrayed in the movie ever went through! I have had some rough times but this movie...wow!

Done Reading 1 Corinthians the verses that stuck in my head are:
1 Corinthians 10:12-14
"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry."

My Second Day Blogging...

2010-03-17T13:19:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to figure something to blog about, and it is just not there. So I thought I would just blog about my day and whatever was on my mind today.

Nice day today...loving the weather. Took Brooky to the Park with Kat & Jayden it was great and tired her right out! I needed that sun on my face and it really boasted my energy. The fresh air the exercise...felt so good, and I am feeling motivated again! Then we came home and my girl put disney princess stickers all over herself lol what a girl. She really just brightens my day everyday and I am pretty sure all my friends and family feel the same! :O) Then it was nap time...oh how I love nap time (which is why I am starting my blog for the day right now). First I had to go check on Oliver our Cat at the house since we are in and out right now with the bathroom reno's going on and he was acting so odd like he did not know me, and very twitchy and dumb like lol not sure why guess we have been gone for a while. Silly Cat. You had to see his face he was scared and confused lol Made me laugh. Ok so this is getting boring...what now...

I am making Jambalaya tonight...if you have never had this dish before then you must try it. I make it often and I will post the recipe that I use I combine two together and it is absolutely amazing! Well I think so and most people that I make it for love it too. Try it!

So I did make Jambalaya tonight and it was a hit yet again here is the recipe I used tonight

1 package Mild Italian Sausages cut with scissors into chunks
1 Package boneless skinless chicken Breast cut with scissors into chunks
1 green pepper chopped
1 red pepper chopped
1 onion chopped
3 celery stalks chopped
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1.5 Litres of liquid beef broth
a few twists of black ground pepper
salt just a little
1 package of frozen okra (thaw and then chop)
3 cups Bazamati rice
1 Tablespoon Chili powder
2 pinches of Cayenne Pepper (add more if you want it spicier)
Olive oil 2 turns of the pan
2 bay leaves
1/2 tsp of thyme
a handful of fresh chopped parsley
1 can diced or crushed undrained tomatoes
1 pack sliced mushrooms

Steps:

1. Cut everything first
2. Cook in your biggest skillet sausages, chicken, green & red pepper, onion, celery and garlic until tender.
3. Stir in Chili powder, pepper, salt and Cayenne cook and stir for one minute
4. In a Big Pot bring broth to a boil and add rice, tomatoes, okra, bay leaves and thyme, then add all your stuff from the skillet into the pot, reduce heat and cook and simmer for 15-20 minutes or until the rice is tender...add fresh parsley at the very end.

YUMMY! Ok

Ok so I was thinking this is pretty random and I am still not sure where I am going with this blogging thing...but for now I will just blog about my day and whatever I am thinking, feeling and doing.

I decided to detox again I need to really lose a lot of weight before the three weddings this year! I refuse to live my life unhealthy and unhappy...I am so so ready to get refocused not that I was off track too much but just a little! So anyway I will be blogging about my weight loss journey for sure...

Ok well it is 11pm and I am feeling like reading....

What am I reading: Still reading all of 1 Corinthians and also a Potty training Book...

Don't Know where to start...

2010-03-16T13:27:00.001-07:00

....I have so many things on my mind and on my heart. I decided I was going to blog...on what I am not sure yet...but I hope to blog once a day for at least a year and talk about important subjects, things of my past, present and future...dreams, goals...and just reach out to those who love to read blogs. Maybe they will not always be of interest to you...maybe they will...not sure where I will go with this...but I know I will know when the time is right... all I know is this is where I can and will speak my mind, open my heart and share my knowledge...without fear!

Ok so I may not be an pro writer... all though I dream of writing a book one day note sure on what...and I may not have the best spelling or grammar but bare with me :O) lol

So I am on March Break (I work for a School Board where I live so I am off when the kids are off which is nice to have this time with my daughter!)...anyway last night my Mother in law and I were watching Julie & Julia so I won't lie this is most definitely inspired by that movie, I am not really interested in doing the cooking blog... I may blog a few times on cooking experiences as I do love to cook and I adore food! Anyway I am going to switch it up everyday and talk about tons of different topics! Any suggestions are welcome too...
Well that is it for today...back to some relaxing, reading and playing with my 2 year old girl!

P.S. Sick of Facebook...anyone else?!

What am I reading Today: The Bible 1 Corinthians

Much Luv
Drea