Tuesday, January 12, 2016
12 Years Today Without my Dad... sometimes a song says everything I am thinking and Feeling so I put together this slide show of photos of my Father with family and put some songs I am singing to it...as they describe the different emotions I have and do experience since losing my father! Check it out if you like... My whole life my Father was in and out of the hospital and I never understood what was going on until it all came out when I was 13 years old that my Father had Hep C ...I was 16 years old when we found out that my Father needed a Liver Transplant...and when I was 17 My Father had a Liver Tranplant....not long after we found out that his new liver was rejecting, things were rough after that watching my Father fight hard to stay alive....but on Jan 12 2004 my Father lost his fight.... So much has happened without my Dad here and I miss him every single day!
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Happy New year Everyone! Wow it has been over 5 years since I blogged...Some of you are not on Facebook or Instagram so you may not know what I have been up to over the past year... In January 2015 I went on a trip to Cuba I weighed 278 pounds and I was in a VERY dark place, everything was hard and everything hurt inside and out... I had a health scare on the way home I knew that I could never look back that I had to change or I was going to die young!!! I came home and grabbed my YMCA pass that I had gotten before I went away but had not used it yet as a volunteer at the Y I get a free membership and that was a true blessing that I did not want to take for granted. I looked at the date on my card that it had been given to me and it was the date of my Father's death anniversary...I had forgotten that I made him a promise to take care of my body! I only had one and it was precious! I will never forget that now!!! As of right now I do not know how much I weigh as I find it discouraging...I go by how my clothes fit and how I feel! (last time I checked I weighed 230 that was over 3 months ago) so I have lost over 50lbs (I rarely weigh myself I find is deceiving and I do a lot of weights...it is about how I feel really) I have struggled on and off for my whole life with depression and eating disorders (aneroxia in highschool and Binge Eating Disorder over the last 10 years...) Things went down hill for my physical appearance and overall health more so over the past 8 years....In January 2004 my Father passed away then May 2004 my older Brother Took his own life...it really took a toll on me and I have struggle with PTSD and grief on and off since. Just this past June 2015 my Aunt took her life and it was very challenging as at that point I had already started my lifestyle change journey and I knew this time it was different. I have held strong through it all this time! I still have days that are harder and have to fight with everything in me! I have been medication free since January 2015 and I 95% of the time feel amazing now! So I am writing this because I am feeling all over the place the past few days...January is a really Hard month for me...but also full of excitement and sometimes I get overwhelmed and find it so hard to even get out of bed...I am proud of myself as I have made it to the gym 3 times so far this month and it is only January 5th...so a good start! Soon it will be 12 years since my Father passed away (January 12th 2004). I will always find that day hard...I have been really missing my Dad but also feeling sad that my Mom is going back to Calgary and just longing to be closer to all my loved ones.... as I know how fast someone can be taken from us! I will be ok...just really really miss my Dad! Now I also LOVE January! My husband will be 35 in two days. Hard to believe and we will also be headed to Cuba soon and I will be turning 35 in Cuba this year!! Super excited to celebrate my Birthday in the Sun! To see more of my journey check out my hashtag on facebook or Instagram #Andreaisstrongerthanyesterday Follow me on Instagram: andreac34drea